The Secret Between Us [BxB]

23. The Delicate Man On The Moon

London, England

Wesley POV

"I'll tell you the same IF you come back," 

Matthias' last words kept replaying over and over again in my mind as I sat on a hidden bench in the middle of Hyde Park while hunched over with my head in my hands. 

I pictured the last time I saw my lover's face in person. I had stared into his beautiful hazel eyes and even though he was burning up with a fever, I could still feel the hurt and betrayal aimed back to me. 

Although we had spoken afterward and the feelings towards my surprising exit had dissipated, I could still sense a hidden tension between us that wasn't there before. It was an animosity I wanted to destroy with my bare hands. That is, once I figured out what it was of course. 

I groaned slightly when I thought of this and the tiny ducks playing in the pond before me turned their heads out of curiosity. Their mother protectively pushing them away from me with the tip of her wing like I was some sketchy threat to her babies. 

I would have laughed had I not felt like there was a heavy weight on my heart. 

The mother duckling urged her little children farther away from me while the overprotective father duck narrowed his eyes at me and watched my every move. 

I let out a sad sigh as I watched the little family in action, wishing for my own. I know I'm only twenty-eight but I was an orphan at eleven and since then I've always dreamed of having my own large family. 

But it was never as easy as it seemed. 

My ex-husband wanted children, just not with me. He said he'd never do it unless I gave up my job and stayed home with them. I never agreed because that just wasn't fair since he's a doctor and he was never home either. Back then I was depressed about it, but now I'm thankful we never did. 

Matthias had me thinking about children too. I had always assumed that because of who he is, children just weren't an option with him and I guess that's fine. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be a father anyway. 

But I saw something in him the night I was sick. When he came to my room and took care of me even though I never asked him too. I had never seen such a nurturing side to Matthias before and for the first time, I came to realize that maybe I've had him wrong the whole time.

Of course, that could always just be me overthinking things, per usual, but it's what I'm trained to do. I can't help it. 

Especially when it comes to Matthias, I start to overthink everything. He's the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. Of course, I'm going to take caution. He's like a sweet angel who will love you unconditionally until you do something that really pisses him off. Then he's like a raging demon, willing to do anything to get his revenge. 

But I trusted him with everything I have. 

My heart, my soul, and my life. 

With him I have everything but without him, I am nothing. We've been committed to each other since our adventure in Italy when-

"I had a feeling I would find you here," 

I was cast away from my gloomy daze when I looked up to see the exact person I didn't want to see was now standing right in front of me.