The Secret Between Us [BxB]

28. Goodbye Childhood

As soon as I stuttered the words I hung my head in shame.

Shame over my baby girl's existence.

Shame over her lack of a biological father.

Shame over giving up my youth and my prime to have a baby out of nowhere.

Shame because I had let my parents down.

I was ready to face a long talking down to from my father, a look of disappointment from my Appa, and maybe even anger kicking me in the heart. 

I was crying so hard that I could hear the sobs I had been holding in were streaming out while a voice I didn't recognize as my own was left babbling about how sorry I was.

When I finally calmed down and opened my blurry tear-filled eyes I looked around and realized what was happening. Thomas, Milo, and Kai had fled the scene and Thomas' hand on my back had been replaced by my Dad's while Appa held me close in his warm embrace. 

"Hey, hey, hey...shhh it's alright sweetie," Appa was gently whispering in my ear and I stopped choking on air, but the tears were still pouring into his shoulder and from the way the wet fabric clung to my skin, I could tell he was crying too.  

"Matty, it's okay," He gently kissed my wet cheek before holding my face in his small hands.

"I'm going to be a  halabeoji again!" He exclaims with a happiness I wasn't expecting. His happiness was contagious and I could feel the uncontrollable smile growing. 

Dad now pops into view behind Mika but he wore a small smile showing he was a little worried but he wasn't pissed off like I thought he would be. 

"Who do I need to beat up?" He jokes and I for the first time, I tell them both who the father of the baby is. Dad falls to his knees, and rest his forehead against the arm of the chair I was sitting on. 

"But he doesn't know anything. He's not even aware of the fact it's possible. It was only one night and I thought since it's rare that I was safe but I guess she proved me wrong," I confessed and Dad lifted his head again. 

"She?" He caught on and I nodded, clutching my stomach to protect the tumbling little girl inside.

"Mhm, sorry dad. It looks like you'll have to wait a few years for a grandson," I tell him and he chuckles slightly.

"Our family is too overcrowded with guys anyway," He waves it off and sits back.

"So you guys aren't like super pissed off or anything?" I asked and Appa and Dad looked at each other.

"Not really honey, I think we're just concerned about your health is all. It can be dangerous to carry because our bodies weren't really meant for it but I think you're doing just fine. You're an adult Matthias. You make decisions and sometimes you make mistakes but this isn't one of them and  I think you know that" Appa explains for both of them and reaches out to my tummy without permission.

"Come on, let me feel the little one. It's been forever since I've seen a pregnant person and you're giving me flashbacks," He says and I help guide him, pressing his hand to the side where the baby was kicking the most and he could feel a little movement. 

"Wow, she's so strong. How far along are you?" He asks, 

"Eighteen weeks," I tell them both and Dad whistles.

"And you're still hiding it so well. I knew something was wrong by the way you were acting but I never would have guessed it was this," Dad quietly mutters and sits back on the floor in a sudden daze.

"Are you okay dad?" I ask and he nods a few times.

"Yeah buddy, I'm fine. I'm just taking it in is all. This is big news. You know when we said we couldn't wait to hear the stories you would come up with for your kids we were kidding right?" He jokes and I gave a short fake laugh.

"Haha, so funny dad. Yeah, I thought you knew and it almost gave me a mild heart attack okay?" I grumbled and he ruffled my hair again. 

"I can tell you're starting to act like a parent now, it's so scary how it just happens?" Appa asks and I scratched the back of my head.

"Yeah, it's kind of annoying sometimes though because I have to be all responsible," I explain and he laughs.

"Don't we all Matty? How does Thomas feel about her? Do you have a name? What's your due date?" He starts spitting out questions and I start answering them.

"Thomas loves her like she's his, no, I haven't had time to really go through and pick out a name, and it's September 4th," I share and dad smiles.

"Hey, that's my birthday," He chuckles and Mika sighs.

"Aw, can you imagine if you shared the same birthday as your granddaughter? That would be so cute,' He awws and the sappiness nearly killed me. 

"I'm so happy for you Matty,"