The Secret Between Us [BxB]

50. Slow Dancing In The Dark

<Wesley POV>

One more step.

One more step and it would be over. 

I stood on the edge of the tight cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean which would soon become my final home. I flicked a cigarette bud and took one final puff to calm my nerves. 

I closed my eyes, feeling the ocean breeze rustle between each of my dark brown curls and the salty air filling my nasal passages as if the ocean is soothing me.

When was enough...enough?

Was it when I walked in on my parent's murder? 

Was it when my brother and I were separated at the orphanage? 

Was it when I was kidnapped and molded into a slave, stamped as government property to be used at will? 

Was it when I was forced into an arranged marriage I never wanted at sixteen with a man three times my age? 

Was it when he raped me every single night until I gave him my full submission? 

That was never enough.

There was always hope for a better day.

Now the hope's been drained and what was left of me is gone.

Jaydean will be better off without her father. She would be so ashamed if she knew half the things my life consisted of. But in Matthias and Thomas' hands I know she'll live a life vastly different from mine. 

I took another small step forward, watching as the tiny pebbles below my feet trace a trajectory that would mirror my fate as they fell to the dark waters below.

I saw her.

I saw my daughter and my god she was beautiful.

Too beautiful for words. 

One...more...step...

I raised my foot and let the gravity bring me forward. 

.

.

.

"NO!" 

The pebbles scrape against the surface of the rock and my body is tilted upwards facing the sky. 

But I'm not falling. 

"Fuck Wesley! What the fuck were you thinking!" Thomas' voice could be heard from underneath me as he tightly hugged my waist and held me against his chest, laying on the same rock where I once stood. 

I stayed silent, letting the tears flow as I cried out everything I've been holding in for the past twenty-eight years.

I covered my stupid face with my hands and Thomas pushed us away from the edge with his prosthetic foot.

"Jesus Christ, you gave me a fucking heart attack," He sighed and refused to let go of me as we laid with my back against his chest. 

"You can't do this Wes, not when you have so much to live for. Jaydean's only a day old but you promised her you would be there too the end. And yeah, what happened with Matthias sucks balls and I don't know if he'll forgive you tomorrow but it's nothing to kill yourself over," He said aloud and I wiped my tears with my sleeves.

"That's not it Thomas, I'm just tired. So fucking tired." I confessed and it felt like a small weight had been lifted from my chest.

"I get it man, you've been through some tough shit, but so have we all. Talk to someone then goddamnit. Don't hold it in when you don't have to," He answered and he let go of me just enough to let me turn my body and face him chest to chest.

"Why didn't you let me go? You of all people have every single right to want me dead," I asked and he rand his hands to my face, wiping the tears away with the softest touch of his fingertips.

"I would never wish death on anyone, especially not you," his sweet chocolate brown eyes held only complete honesty as he answered me and I gulped.

"Jaydean has three dads Wesley. We can't...I can't do this without you," He says and my tears dry up as I drop my head to his chest.

"They're waiting for you. Matty was so worried about you...and I was too," Thomas continues to add to my guilt, making me want to go home just so I could snuggle little Jayde again.

"I think...I think I'm going to be okay," I told him as he slowly let go of me, letting me roll off him and help him back up.

Thomas drives both of us back to the farm and I sat in the passager seat, shivering because of the cold but out of fear for the mistake I almost made. He reaches over and turns up the heat before returning his hands back to the wheel, fixing his crooked glasses as he did so. 

"Did Jaydean make it back safe?" I asked and he nodded while lip singing to Arianna Grande.

"Yeah, everyone made it except you dude," He says and I found myself closing up once more. 

"Matty wanted to go out looking for you himself, like the fucking savage madman he is, but he just gave birth so I told him to go lay down," He said and I smiled at the thought of Matthias trying to race off in a car to find me.

So he does still care right? At least to some degree.

"I promised I'd bring you home safe," Thomas added and turned down the music, as if he knew what I would ask next.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked as we finally reached the farmhouse gates and he parked right up front.

"Because I've stood on that cliff before," 

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