The day I stopped singing in the shower

Chapter 18: Taboo

Warning: eating disorder content. Please read no further if you're sensitive with the subject.

I walked into my room to grab my phone. Today was Sarah's birthday and I needed to call her. I didn't know if we were going out to grab some food or not, everything on the streets seemed to be destroyed. Branches, leaves and trash everywhere. There were even a few trees that had fallen on the road. I closed the window after have been scanning the street for about five minutes, and went to my bed. Nathan's clothes that Ace had used were folded neatly at the end of the bed. For some reason, that made me smile.

I grabbed the clothes and went to throw them in the laundry hamper, but not before smelling the t-shirt to see if there were any remains of his scent.

I then went to my room again and grabbed my phone. I let out a big breath before calling. I felt this oppression in my chest and a melancholic feeling. I swear that was the worst. To feel sad and not really knowing how to end it. You just have to deal with it.

I dialed Sarah's number and put the phone against my ear. I tried to smile and pinched my cheeks, seeing if I could cheer up for my friend.

"Hello?"

"Hello beautiful! What day is it today?" I almost yelled.

"Mhm. April 12th, I think."

"Ha,ha. Really funny. Happy birthday!"

"Thank you." She laughed.

"Are you coming home?"

"Yeah, Nathan is coming to pick me up. I think we're having lunch at our place."

"Cool. See you then, I'll clean my bedroom meanwhile."

"Has someone made a little bit of a mess in your bed? Maybe someone called Ace?" I could hear her smirking on the other side of the phone. I suddenly felt nervous at the mention of his name.

"Shut up." I chuckled. "See you later alligator!"

She laughed. "In a while, crocodile!"

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We waited until dinner time to give Sarah our gifts. We were doing the 'sorry we forgot to get you anything' joke. It was not that funny though since she didn't take it too bad. I think she knew we were onto something. We were having dinner on our living room floor, talking about anything and everything. We were sitting on the floor as always.

"So yeah, now he needs to stop playing for two weeks." Sarah was saying.

"Does that mean no more games for two Wednesdays? No more hot guys?" Asked Nathan looking a bit sad.

"I mean, we can still go, but I don't see the point." She said shrugging. "I started going because of him." She chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right." He sighed. "I'll just go to my grandma's earlier. That'll make her happy."

"Aww, such a good grandson!" Sarah put her hands on her cheeks.

I let out a little chuckle and continued eating, my eyes focused on my plate.

I stopped paying attention and drowned in my own thoughts. I couldn't be so attached to Ace. We only knew eachother for a little more than three weeks. This had never happened to me before, why would it happen now? If I felt this pressure in my chest now, I wouldn't like to know how would it feel if I let myself feel anything else for him.

Sarah kept talking. "Well, maybe she'll wanna go see her Romeo, then I'll go with her and watch my poor boyfriend sitting on the bench."

I couldn't continue with this, I was on a roller coaster without brakes and I needed to stop. He clearly didn't feel anything, he said it himself. Why would he? I was a girl full of issues inside my head. There were tons of beautiful and normal girls out there. I wasn't affective, I was not a girlfriend type. I was just someone who you hook up with.