Chapter 13: Part One

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"...This life's not easy, I'm not made out of steel, don't forget that I'm human, don't forget that I'm real, act like you know me, but you never will, there's one thing that I know for sure I'll show you..."
~ Justin Bieber

......

I'm home. The place where I was born, and the place where I get to die. It's vacant, but through the front door, comes a bright light. I know I have to walk through so that I can give this life up.

The physical pain is gone and with a few more steps, the emotional pain will go away too. Without a second thought, I start walking towards the light.

"Summer," my brother, Dean's voice stops me. Him showing up in my head, isn't surprising. He's the youngest out of my three older brothers, and we've always understood each other more than anyone else has.

Hearing his voice, after almost three years, is calming. It sends a feeling of tranquility that I haven't felt in a long time.

"Dean?" I turn around. He stands there handsome as ever with his dress shirt and jeans. His muscles seem to have grown a size or two, and his frame has modified into a man's. He's a nineteen year old adult.

Thinking about that, makes me want to cry.

What if he's different? What if he doesn't like joking around, playing tag or teaching me how to have fun in life? That even we have the right to be happy. What if he isn't who he was?

"What's wrong?" he questions. His brown eyes sympathetically trace my body.

"Nothing," I reply.

"Mmm. What were you about to do?" he asks in a protective, brotherly way.

"Leave my pain behind." I say looking at the ground. For some reason, I can't build up the strength to look him in the eyes.

"I thought we raised you to know that pain is a given with this family," he words. I can sense his disappointment.

"You did."

"Look me in the eyes when you speak, Summer," he instructs, and I instantly raise my head meeting his gaze.

"If we raised you like that, then why are you about to kill yourself because of pain?"

"I– I can't handle it," tears brim my eyes.

"You can, and you will. If you walk through that door, Kai wins – Nick, wins. Summer. Me, Dad, Vincent, Anthony; we raised you to be a fighter. The White Dragons don't give up."

"But you did, you stopped looking for me."

"You made us believe you're dead. We still believe you're dead. Life moves on, Summer. Just like you did."

"Then let me do what I want to do!" I yell back.

"But that doesn't mean, we make stupid mistakes. Be smart, like you've been for the past two years. If Kai wants to use your emotional connection to people against you, turn it into your strength. Emotions are a mistake, you know that, but a guy like Kai, who has never felt any other emotion besides rage, doesn't. Teach him how we work," he's right. I can't give up so easily. I'm strong enough to fight back. I can survive if I choose to stay.

"So, are going to give up?" Dean asks, cocking his right eyebrow.

"No," I answer.

......

Steady beeping and slow breathing. A rhythmic pattern my brain recognizes the second it comes in conscious.

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