Chapter 23

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"...Trying to tell you now, I've been doing what you want But I won't be your yes girl, no, not anymore..."
~ Bea Miller

......

"I wonder what you did this time," I faintly make out Alec's voice.

My head is heavy on the lack of oxygen. I don't know how long I've been in here and I'm surprised that I'm still conscious. I rip my eyes open and blink several times, until my vision is clear. I spot Alec through the glass, clicking some buttons on the panel.

My whole body feels overweight. Looking down at my arm, it's an odd shade of dark blue. Fear rises within me.

The whole night was torture. I would pass out and wake up wondering if I was still alive. It was like dying over and over again. Every time I thought I was dead, I'd be awake again suffering through the same pain.

The door opens and in he walks. Alec's green eyes roam my body with obvious worry plastered across his face as he crouches down to my level. I try to keep my eyes open, but my lids are too heavy, closing on me.

"Wh-ha-"

"Don't," Alec stops me from talking. Without a word, he slips one arm under my legs and the other supports my back as he picks me up. I shuffle hiding my head close to the warmth of his chest. As we exit the cage, I feel tears making their way out.

I don't know why I do this to myself. Why I keep everything in and then expect it to never come out. Unfortunately, that never happens. It always comes out and like today, I don't think there's any way of stopping it.

I pull my shoulder over my face ashamed of crying. I've gotten so weak, it's pathetic. Alec lowers down a bit and opens the car door. Gently, he sets me down on the seat. I keep my face hidden. He gets the hint when he backs away closing the door and lets me buckle my own seat belt. I shift my whole body so it's facing the window and away from Alec as he takes a seat.

For a moment, I feel his eyes on me, but when he starts the car, I sigh in relief. Talking is the last thing I want to do. 

My clothes are still wet from last night. The whole time I was in there, all I could think about was my life and every person I killed. I used to keep track of every person I chose to kill with my own hands, but I've lost count now. There's been too many killings. It feels like I've went rogue all in excuse of not exposing myself.

Why am I even doing this?

To get some information on Nick. At the end of the day, everyone knows that I could kill Nick in a matter of minutes, but I'm choosing not to. And for that choice, I've been paying with other people's lives.

Will it even be worth it?

"We're home," Alec says.

I don't reply.

"Summer, I know you're awake," he continues. "I know this doesn't help you in any way, but I know what Kai did to you was wrong. You helped him – us. You helped us and he overreacted. You didn't deserve what he put you through."

"Please, cry me a river," I deadpan. He lets out a breath of defeat. A few seconds later, I hear his door open. He walks around the car and then opens my door. His face holds pain that I've never seen before.

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