NOT a Fairytale

Chapter 24: Wedding 'stuff'

Diamond's POV

I could seriously care less about wedding stuff. I mean seriously, this is my fourth wedding. Its Roman's first, and supposedly only. It's been about a week since this war started, and I have been busy working and fighting the war. Roman hates it.

"Sweetheart, you need to be girly, I know you secretly love you, so stop lying to yourself. Have fun for a girls day." Tom had walked in my room. He was right, I used to love getting my nails, hair, spa day. Now I would prefer pummel someone to death.

The reason I have changed is because something inside me broke. I was sweet, kind, generous. I would let people walk all over me. After the abuse I made this rough exterior personality. She was sadistic, cold, uncaring. She was tough, badass. However, internally I was still nervous, sweet, gentle, kind, caring, forgiving. After my second husband died, the tough exterior became more apparent. People could only see it. I snapped in anger more easily, I didn't let people see how I was really feeling.

I had decided people hurt each other all the time. Sometimes it was intentional, and sometimes it was on accident. We can't help it. Even when I was with my last husband. I would shut down, and let badass me come forward any time someone would get harsh or upset me. Aaron had finally broken through that. I broke down and cried with him. I let him in on why I seemed angry, but was really depressed. Then he died.

I got to the point where I wouldn't let people touch me. I wouldn't let people close. I emotionally, and physically held them at arms length. My family and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but they have been there for me for everything. I even pushed them away.

Somewhere along the way I went from the sweet innocent girl who would take a beating for someone, to the one beating you if you spoke to harshly. I used to show I cared, now I show it by beating, killing, and fighting for you. I used to be submissive, now I'm the dominate. I used to make threats but never follow through, now I show the threat and follow through.

I have this very sexy, seductive, slutty attitude, but I haven't even slept in bed with another man since my husband. The thought gives me a panic attack.

So far Roman has caught me in a panic attack, and that made me feel vulnerable. I convinced him I wasn't nervous anymore, but in reality, I didn't want him near me vulnerable. I love the man, but I don't trust easily. I still don't trust Tom fully. I don't show fear or vulnerability. People use that and twist it, manipulate it to their pleasure.

"Sweetheart, time to get out of your head, and leave. Alex and I are going as guards." Tom saw I was caught up, him seeing through me scares me, even though deep down I know he cares, but one day he will hurt me, cause he will die.

"Alright, fine I still am not looking forward to this. I order things online for a reason. I hate shopping, I hate being in public." I snapped at him.

"Sweetheart, you don't hate it, you are scared." At Tom's word I showed fear for the first time, in a long time.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. You are safe, I got you." Tom reassured me.

"You remember that stupid ball is coming up too, right?" Tom sighed. I rolled my eyes.

"Yep, that's why I have to get my nails, and hair done today too, remember." It wasn't really a question. Tom just laughed.

"Are you ready!? I am so excited! Girls day! I finally am going to have a sister to do a girls day with!!!" Isabella was too excited.

"Hey, sweetheart, how about at the spa you get a massage?" Tom had this sly look. My eyes lit up, even though I hate people touching me, I still love getting professional massages. I know a professional won't step out of line, and isn't trying anything.