Torn

chapter 22

I stretch my arms over my head.  My back is stiff and achy from sitting in this horrible chair.  It is dark outside, and I am not sure if it is really late or really early.  I could not  tell you if I have been here for hours, days, or weeks.  It feels like my life is taking place here in this hospital room.  All the things that exist outside of here, well they are just not important right now.

I get up and walk around the room a bit to stretch my legs.  A nurse quietly enters the room.  She offers me a towel and toiletries and tells me I can use the restroom attached to Slash's room to take a shower.  That sounds like an incredibly great idea, and I jump at the chance.  She leaves and returns a couple of minutes later with travel size shampoo, conditioner, and soap, along with a towel and new toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste.  I head in to take a shower. 

The hot water feels really good on my aching muscles.  It feels really good to be clean, but I do not want to linger in the shower.  I dry off and slip back into my clothes.  I make a mental note to have Lindsey bring me some clothes. 

Not long after my shower, Lindsey and Axl show up. Without me having asked, Lindsey has brought me some clean clothes.  I am more than happy to change into them.  She insists that we go get food in the cafeteria, leaving Axl to keep Slash company.

I don't feel hungry, and the food is awful.  But I try to eat.  When I can not stand to take another bite, i just push the food around on my plate.  When Lindsey is satisfied that I have eaten enough, we go back up to Slash's room.

As we near the room, there is some sort of chaos going on.  Hospital staff are rushing in and out of his room.  I run over to  see what is going on.  Axl is standing outside and stops me.

"What is it?  What's going on?" i ask frantically.

"He is ok, Wynn," Axl says. 

"What happened?"  I am not buying that he is ok.

"He woke up, looked at me, said your name, then went right back out," he explains.  "Then all these machines started beeping and people were rushing around."

"Oh god," I mumble, straining to try and see into the room.

"Wynn," Axl holds my shoulders and looks into my eyes.  "His heart stopped."

"No," I start to cry.  "NO!"

"It's ok now, they brought him back," Axl says.  "He is doing ok.  Wynn, he is ok."

I am collapsed on the floor at this point, a sobbing mess.  Lindsey helps me up and tries to soothe me.  The doctor finally comes out and tells us that it was just a little scare,but he is ok.  His heart is beating strong and his breathing is normal.  They think he will be waking up soon.

I go back in and find myself back in that horrible chair.  It is hard, despite the plastic coated cushion.  Every time I move it makes that squeaky fart sound.  I hate this chair.

I hold his hand.  The hand that has held mine,  has stroked my cheek, wiped my tears, and played such beautiful music. 

"Slash," I say softly. "You come back to me.  You have to be ok, please just come back to me."