Torn

chapter 47

Planning a wedding is a lot of work. 

"Baby," I say, sighing from frustration.  "Can we just get married here?"

"Here?" he asks, looking around our nearly empty house.  "No, let's do it on the beach."

"The beach?" I ask.  "What if it rains?"

"We get wet?" he laughs.

"You are impossible!" I slap his arm. 

We have discussed this a million times.  Finally, I know what I want.  I spell it  all out for him, in great detail.  He agrees and tells me to make it happen, and soon.  I grab the phone and call my mom.  I fill her in on everything.

There is a park nearby, where we take Melody on walks.  They have a big, white gazebo.  I want to get married there.  Just close friends and family, no big ordeal.  Slash draws a picture of beautiful flowers that we have printed on invitations.  I search all over until I find the perfect dress.  It is an ivory white, very simple, yet elegant design with 30 pearl  buttons down the back.  I, of course, ask Lindsey to be my maid of honor.  Slash asks his brother to be best man.

Everything is coming along with the wedding.  Every day I am just one step closer to being Mrs. Saul Hudson.   I sit and watch him with our daughter and my heart fills with so much love for him.  When I see him playing his guitar, I feel something more like lust for him. 

it is two weeks before the wedding.  Slash is at some interview with the band.  Mel is playing on the floor.  I am folding laundry.   I am reminded of doing laundry with him when we first met.  I smile to myself as I recall him telling me that he does not wear underwear. 

A knock on the door brings me back to reality.

"Hey, there Sis," I cringe at the sound of her voice.

"Joy, what do you want?"  I bite the words off.

"I wanna see my sister, and my niece," she says as she walks past me.  "Oh, she is beautiful!"

"Thanks, now leave," I demand.

"Wynn," she pouts.  "I want us to fix us."  She sits down, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Joy, you always bring so much drama," I sigh.  "I just don't want that in my life."

"Here, look at this picture," she shows me a picture of herself and a very pretty lady.  "This is Pam, my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"  I ask, surprised.

"I realized that all my  failed relationships were because I am a lesbian," she shrugs.

"Well, you look happy, she is very pretty," I say.  I am actually happy for her.

"I thought maybe now that you know I am not after your man, we could try being sisters," she smiles a genuine smile at me.

"Maybe," I hesitate. 

"Besides, since I have already had Slash, no reason for me to go there again," she says.

"What?"  I ask.

"Yeah, that night you busted in on us, him and I.,..,well, we fooled around some," she says casually.

"No," I say.  "No, you did not."  I am angry and disgusted.  "He would have told me."

"He was high as a fucking kite, you really think he remembers that night clearly?"

"Get out," I bark.  "Now!"

She breezes past me and leaves without another word. 

I sit down and start to cry, as I think about what she said. 

How can I marry a man who had sex with my sister?