Torn

chapter 49

He does not come home that night.

Or the next.

My calls go unanswered, me messages unreturned.

I am watching Melody playing on the living room floor, when I decide that I am going to find him and let him know how much I love him.  I call Lindsey, who agrees to watch Melody.  I make a few more calls and as soon as Lindsey arrives I kiss my daughter and I head out.

An hour or so later, I am sitting outside of the doors to the rehearsal location where Slash's band is working on some new songs.  I do not call him, I do not go inside.  I sit down my chair and just sit there, thinking about how much that man means to me. 

About 20 minutes after I arrived, one of the security guys passes by me.  He says hi and offers to get Slash, but I tell him not to. 

About two hours pass, and the band comes through the door.  They all stop talking and look from me to Slash. 

"Wynn," he says, "What's going on?"

"I need to say something to you," I say, standing up.  "So, I have been sitting here, waiting for you."

"You coulda just come in and got me," he shrugs.

"Waiting was kind of symbolic," I explain.

"Is that a chair from the hospital?" he motions to my now empty chair.

"It is," I nod.  "Remember how horrible I said these chairs were? When I sat there, beside you, begging you to come back to me."

"Yeah, I remember..." he grins a little.

"Slash, you were right," I take a step forward.  "I was not being fair to you.  I do trust you, and I need to show that.  I also need to show you how much I love you.  All of you.  From your beautiful smile to your talented hands.  From your music to your shyness.  I love your laugh and sense of humor.  I love seeing you be a great dad to our daughter.  And I love the way you love me."

He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I can leave here, go home and go on with my life," I shrug.  "I could live without you, if not for me than for Melody.   But why would I want to? Why would I want to be all alone?  You have my heart, and if you still want me, you can have the rest of me."

I sit back down in the horrible hospital chair.   Slash says something to the guys then turns to me.  The rest of the band leaves. 

"Wynnie," he sighs.  "C'mere."

I stand up and walk over to him.  He wraps me in a big hug. 

"I love you," he whispers.  "Still wanna marry me?"

"Absolutely!" I smile.  He holds me tighter and I start to cry.

"What's wrong?" he asks, concerned.

"I missed you," I explain.  "I was afraid I had lost you forever."

"Never, you will never lose me," he smiles at me.  "Let's go home."