Torn

chapter 43

I go in to take a nap, after Ola leaves.  The thought of seeing Slash makes me a little anxious.  I still love him so very much.  I fall asleep easily, as I am exhausted all the time.  When I wake up, I can hear my parents talking in the kitchen.  I get up to go talk to them.  At the top of the stairs, I feel a sharp twinge of pain.  I have never felt anything like this before.  I let the pain pass, then continue down the stairs.  the pain hits again near the bottom.  Only worse this time.  I call for my mom. 

"What is it?" she asks, concerned.  "Are you ok?"

"Just some kind of pain, its bad," I am getting scared.

"Let's get you to the couch," she says, taking my arm to support me.

I take a few steps toward the couch, when I feel a rush of warmth down my legs.  I stop and look down.

"Um, mom?" I ask.

"Oh, Wynnie, I think your water just broke," she says.

"It's too soon," I whine.   I feel panic creeping in.

"Don't panic baby, let's get you to the hospital," she says, calmly.

Mom and dad load me up and we hurry off to the hospital.  Mom escorts me in, while dad parks the car.  I am scared and nervous.  They take me into a room for assessment.  A monitor is strapped on to monitor the baby's heartbeat.  Another is on my stomach to measure contractions.  A blood pressure cuff is wrapped onto my arm, it goes off in scheduled intervals. 

After about 15 minutes they tell me that my water did break, the baby is coming.  They can not stop it, even though it is too early.  They notifiy the intensive care unit for preemie babies and let them know that they will be getting a new baby.  I am so scared, my daughter is going to be premature.

I have my mom contact Ola at the number she gave me. 

The pain increases and just when I think it can not get worse, it does.  It goes on and on for hours.  Mom stays with me, and Ola shows up shortly after we called her.   After 18 hours of labor, the doctor says I am ready to push.  Things move quickly, I am shifted in the bed and staff from the intensive care (NICU they call it) show up to care for my baby.  Just as I am getting ready to push, there is a commotion in the hallway.  Suddenly, the door opens and in walks Slash.

"Slash," I call out.  "You made it!"

"Wynnie, baby," he rushes to the side of my bed.  "I am here, and I love you."

He holds my hand and helps support my back each time I push.  It hurts.  There are no words to describe the pain.  It feels never ending.  I am sweaty and tired.  I feel like I can not go on, when the doctor announces that her head is out.  Soon the baby is out, they lay her briefly on my chest.  She is beautiful.  The nurses from NICU take her away.  Slash kisses my cheek, and I tell him to go with our daughter. 

My mom and Ola go to check on the baby, while the staff finishes up with me.  Eventually  i am in clean pajamas, resting in bed with some water.  Anxiously waiting to hear about my baby. 

"Wynn," his voice is like music to my ears. 

"Slash," I smile at him.  "How is she?"

"Well, she is tiny," he says.  "Only 2 pounds and 9 ounces."

"Oh, wow," I feel kinda sick.  "Is she going to be ok?"

"They have to feed her wtih a feeding tube, but she is breathing on her own, and her heartbeat is strong."

"When can I see her?" I ask. 

"I can take you whenever you are ready," he grins at me.  "She has your nose.  My lips.  She is beautiful."

He gets me out of bed and I kind of cling to him as we walk to the nursery.  Our baby is in a special bed, totally enclosed.  Several machines monitor her heartbeat and oxygen.  She is so tiny.  We are allowed to hold her.  I sit in a rocking chair and Slash hands her to me.  I gently hold her close. 

"She needs  a name," I say softly.  "Any ideas?"

"I thought of a dozen names over the past few months," he says.  "But then I saw her and a name just came to me."

"What name?" I ask.

"Melody," he says.

"Melody," I try it out.  "Melody Nicole Hudson. Perfect."

"Welcome to the world, Melody," Slash says. 

We sit there, just the three of us.  No words, no thinking, no trying to figure things out.  Right now we are just a pair of new parents hoping and praying our daughter will be ok.