Love Of My Life

52

The amount of Cheetos I just consumed should be illegal

...

Ben

Stepping out of hair and makeup for the last time feels weird. This is my last time in this bloody wig, my last time in these rocker outfits, my last time playing Roger Taylor. It just feels...weird. 

Rami and the whole movie in general wrap up tomorrow and Aria invited us to come in for that to see Rami's last performance. I think we're going to celebrate tomorrow, but today is such an underrated and sad day. 

"There's my rockstar," Aria says when she sees me come out of the room. I give her a smile and immediately lace our fingers together when I greet her, planting a kiss on top of her head. The two of us walk in silence, slowly, to the set. 

I take in every moment of it. The feeling of being Roger Taylor is so exhilarating and I never want it to end. I love acting because I can immerse myself into a new character every time, but I'll miss this the most. I also find myself getting emotional because of the family we've created on set. 

"What happens after filming ends?" I ask Aria, scared to know the answer. 

She pauses. "What do you mean?" she asks. We make our way down a rather empty hallway.

I stop and lean up against the wall, Aria standing in front of me. 

"Where do we go from here?" I continue. "Everyone's going to move on and go to different projects, and I'll need to buy my own flat and try to get Frankie back from Kat..."

Aria reaches up and cups my face with one of her hands. I tilt my head to kiss her palm before she brings her hand down by her side again. 

"Move in with me," she says. 

I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind, but we haven't been dating that long so I would never want to impose. It's her mansion too so I don't want to intrude on anything. I don't see us breaking up, to be honest, but there's always that fear on the back of my mind. 

"I don't want to intrude.." I say, trailing off at the end. 

"I've been thinking about it. I mean we spend every night together anyways. It's not like I don't have the space either," she tells me. "I get lonely there and my nightmares stopped having you by my side. I wouldn't say anything if it was a burden,"

I give her a small smile. Don't get me wrong, I would love to move in with her, but I think /I need to think to be absolutely sure. It's a big move. I'm also dreading getting all of my things from mine and Kat's place, but I have to do that regardless. 

"Let me think about it, love. Not that I don't want to, but it's a big step-" I start, but Aria cuts me off. 

"Take all the time you need," she tells me, genuinely. "And if you want your own place too, then that's fine with me. As long as you invite me over anyways..."

I grin. "Did I ever tell you I love you?" I ask.

"Yes, but I like to hear it," Aria says, smiling at me. 

I lean in a kiss her nose. "I love you,"

"I love you too," 

The two of us make our way to the set for real this time. Everyone is all ready there and ready to go. Aria gives my hand one more squeeze before I break free and walk over to the lads. 

"You alright mate?" Gwil asks. 

I sigh, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is around. "Aria asked me to move in with her," I say quietly when I turn back around.

"Really?" Rami asks. "She's never opened her house to anyone like that,"

"Are you going to?" Joe asks me. 

I shrug. "I don't know. I want to but what if God forbid she get sick of me and we break up?" I rant. 

"I don't know. I've known Aria for about two years now and we've worked very closely together. She's never been this happy or open before," Rami tells me. 

"Alrighty, let's film one of our last scenes," Aria says through a mega phone, cutting off our conversation. She looks sad too. More nostalgic than anything though. 

Gwilym, Joe, Rami and I bring it in for a group hug before we get into places. 

"You're the best castmates and friends I could have asked for," Rami tells us. 

"Let's go kill it," Joe says. 

We take a deep breath and break apart to film our last scene together.

...

We're all an emotional wreck after, and it's worse because we can't even cope with it. We jump right into some cast pictures and behind the scenes footage that I didn't even realize Aria was filming this entire time. I only know it now because we immediately get bombarded with questions like 'how are you feeling now that filming is over?' or 'what exactly is going through our mind right now?'. It's a lot. 

But I trek on because this is our last time filming. Our last time together as a band. It might technically not be a real band, but to me it's real. All the practices we went through, the bonds we formed, the emotions that flooded through our veins. It was all very much real. It is very much real.

"Now I want to grab one last picture of you guys together in your full get up," Aria tells us, taking out her phone. "I cherish pictures because they're memories that I hold dear. This last picture isn't going to be on posters or anything so theres no pressure, but I want one last band photo of you doing whatever you want. Do whatever sums up this experience for you. If you only had one photo of you guys to describe the last couple months of filming, what would it be?"

The boys and I huddle in closer to whisper what exactly we want to do. Only one photo? It has to be right. 

"Get in character my darlings," Rami says in his Freddie accent, giving us a mischievous smile. And it's like with those words we know exactly what we want to do. 

So we do what he says, getting into character. Rami goes for a flamboyant pose, I stick with a kind of sly and 'player' look. Joe looks like he's about to soar free, and Gwil supports us all and holds us all together. 

This is it, I think. I'll cherish this moment forever. 

...

I cried. I'm still crying. My next update is going to be even worse, so get the tissues ready.