My Ruin

4. Scared

ASHANTI

Our lips were so close, but I could feel him resisting.

He was scared of something and I wanted to know what it was.

"What are you scared of?," I asked.

He rubbed my cheek and said, "I don't want you to get hurt. I don't know if I'm the right one for you."

"What do you mean?," I asked backing away from him.

"I lose feelings quickly I can't be with one woman for too long. I feel like you're different but I don't want to risk hurting you. I can't just fuck you and leave, but at the same time I don't want a relationship," he said slowly.

I unlatched my legs from around his waist putting distance between us and I stood silent for a moment.

I really didn't know what to say to that.

Should I stay? Should I leave?

He was staring at me, studying me as if it was the last time. His stare was so intense sometimes that it rooted me to the spot.

"So you would fuck me and then, move on?," I asked.

"It probably wouldn't be just once, but I don't do relationships," he reiterated.

I nodded my head in understanding.

"I heard you the first time, maybe I should just go. This wasn't the best idea," I spoke up motioning between the two of us.

I got out of the pool, took my clothes, and my shoes.

I called Ana but I couldn't get her. I found a towel, dried off, and put on my clothes.

I take my curls out of the bun and fiddle with my hair while I dialed my other best friend, Santiago.

He picked up on the second ring saying, "Hey, Ti."

"Hey, Ti," I said smiling.

We both had 'Ti' in our names, so we just turned it into our nicknames for each other. I've known him for years, we grew up together, because our parents knew each other from high school. We're even going to the same college right now. "Huge favor. Can you come pick me up from the address I'm about to send you?," I asked.

"Yeah, of course. Send it," he replied and I was so grateful.

I hung up and sent him the address.

I sit on the floor and let out a yearning sigh.

I couldn't believe what he told me. The first guy I ever tried to date turned out to be complete and utter crap.

I'm glad my parents kept me busy with school and the business growing up. Definitely wouldn't have wanted that headache in high school.

And I, for sure, didn't want to feel like this ever again.

I heard his footsteps echo on the wooden floor until he stopped next to me and I wanted to turn around, but I willed myself not to.

I couldn't look at his face and not want to kiss him.

It would be a complete waste of another kiss.

"Ashanti, please look at me," he said pleading with me.

His voice sounded so sincere that I turned to him.

He was dripping wet and his very noticeable bulge right in my face. He sat next to me and brought my face to his.

"I really like you and I don't think my attraction for you would fade anytime soon," he said.

"If you want to leave, I can give you a ride home. I'll understand if you don't want to see me anymore."