My Ruin

12. Unknown Number

LAMONTE

I couldn't stop thinking about last night.

I didn't know what to say to her telling me that she loves me.

I completely froze up.

Ana came out onto the balcony and saved us from the awkward silence that was budding in the air.

About half an hour later, both Ajax and I left.

Ashanti continued to be quiet the entire dinner and I couldn't help but feel that I was responsible. Who am I fooling? I obviously was responsible for the way she was feeling, there was no getting around it.

I don't know if I'm ready to give her what she wants. I don't want to hurt her, but I know that I already have.

I was sitting in my office and it was dead silent.

I was thinking when my father walked in and disrupted my thoughts.

"Hey, son. I need you to go over these files and forward them to Miss Greene down in Department 3," he says in his usual business-like tone.

I nod my head but I don't say a word.

He studied me for a moment and asked, "What's wrong? You know you can talk to me," he said sounding the most sincere he's ever been.

"You wouldn't understand, pops," I said smoothening my hair forward over my waves and down my face in a pointless way of trying to get my focus back.

"I'll get these done and make sure Miss Greene gets them," I said continuing completely neglecting the rest of this conversation.

He rests his hand on my hand, pausing my actions for a moment in surprise.

"I know I haven't always been the best dad to you, but I want to change that so please talk to me," he spoke barely a whisper.

I took a deep breath and told him everything about my relationship with Ashanti.

I even told him what I was feeling and that I was clueless as to what I'm supposed to do.

"Son, it seems to me that you love this girl too. She's changing you even I can see that. If she has got you like this then you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel and don't push her away. You have to give it a chance," he replied with a serious face.

This was honestly the best advice a father could give and it made me wonder.

Should I tell her how I feel or risk losing her forever?

Would I really be ok with her not in my life?
But then she would be safe from me if I did let her go?

Only this advice wouldn't get through to my brain but it sat in my heart.

I took a deep breath and shook it out of my head.

"Thanks for the advice, pops. I have to get to work on these files," I say after contemplating for a few seconds.

He gives me a heartwarming smile and exits my office.

ASHANTI

He left me, not knowing what to feel or think.

I didn't know if we were over, but I knew I shouldn't have told him how I felt.

I just pushed him away and closed him off more than he already was.

We hadn't talked the entire day today or for the rest of the night last night.

I would give him the space that he needed or maybe he needs more than space, but whatever it is he can have it.