A Trial by Halves

A Time to Talk

Southern Guangxi

Waking, Ye Hua lay unmoving as Su Su fed the baby.  Their chamber was one of only three chambers that had windows, and going by the droplets on the thick window pane, it was not only dawn, but it was raining.  He loved the rain, he also loved winter, because the Celestial Heavens had no seasons, so rain, sleet, hail, and snow were elements he treasured and being with his favourite two people in the world, he couldn't help but smile at his blessings regardless of the situation they were now in.

Their talk the night before had been a very long one but necessary if Su Su was to understand the consequences of being caught.  Initially he had not wanted to discuss anything more with her, he was exhausted and just wanting a private moment with his wife and child that he had removed from his cradle to cuddle, Su Su had found the strength to confront him with questions that were churning in her mind after her talk with Cheng Yu and eventually he had given into the pressure and answered her questions honestly, because he too was just as tired of the secrecy.

Initially she had been a little afraid to ask the one question that was truly haunting her, but after her talk with Cheng Yu, she had squared her small shoulders which gave her the strength she needed to be a little more forceful with him and to Ye Huas mind, she had never looked so brave as she did then, because it seemed as if she were preparing herself for battle.

She had wanted to know how she was that Disciple Si Yin, who exactly was Mo Yuan to Si Yin, what did Qing Cang do to Si Yin, and that one burning question that wouldn't leave her alone.  If she was truly Si Yin, then would that mean Ye Hua would no longer love her?   And he had patiently explained to her what he and his Shifu thought had happened, while explaining a war she could not remember let alone imagine and her relationship to a Shifu that even to her ears felt a little unholy.

"But Ye Hua, if I was in love with that man, then wouldn't I feel it?" she had asked.  "Love is an emotion that traverses great distances regardless of the passing of years.   If I was in love with him, I would feel it, but I don't.  So maybe I cared a great deal for him because he was a spiritual father like your Shifu is to you." she suggested having immediately felt his insecurities and jealousy.

Su Su did not need to see his face to know that what she had just said to him was so out of character that she wondered where such sentiments came from when she did not normally articulate her feelings in such a way and the look on his face said as much.  

But Ye Hua was becoming used to the small changes in her demeanor which at that moment were still sporadic and though he was a little uncomfortable with the changes he was also breathing a sigh of relief  and that was because she had just  lifted one very heavy burden from his shoulders with that statement, because he felt she was right.  

He himself loved his Shifu like a father, in fact even more than a father.  He would give his every limb and even his life for Ci Hang, so he fully understood what the relationship between the Disciple and Shifu was.  And that she could not remember a love that went beyond that kind of relationship even though Mo Yuan had been very present during her pregnancy, meant it was very possible the relationship was indeed paternal.

But the one question which he needed to answer was the last one he answered and he told her exactly how he felt about being married to a woman with two very different personalities.

"Si Yin, is merely one part of you Su Su.  What I know is the sealed part of you and I love everything I see.  But there is a part of you I am dying to meet.  She might not be the woman that I know, but she is still you.  Only I think, I might be in for quite an experience because from what we know, Si Yin had a very strong personality, she was not afraid of anything and she certainly spoke her mind.  But that does not take away from the fact that you and she are one and the same." he had told her as she held her in his arms.