Stuck Inside With Who?

Chapter 29- Not going

Lillie's Pov-

She got shot.

She might die...

She could die.... And it would be my fault for un-tying her and letting her tackle James away from Elise.

But if I didn't... Elise would have got shot. In reality it would have been my fault either way, I guess.

But it's my fault for the whole situation. I could have stopped it from happening. Yasmin told me about James being abusive... yet I just told her to phone me.

Oh who am I kidding? I didn't actually believe her! But as time grew, I slowly feared that she was telling the truth.

Do you know how it feels to have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders? It's not easy.

Having my wedding to plain, Elise being in a coma, Elise coming out of her coma, Yasmin getting kidnapped and tortured, Yasmin getting shot...

I can assured you, it's not easy.

I hate it when there's something wrong with a friend or a family member, and there's nothing I can do to help.

5 years ago... I would never have pictured my life the way it is now. If I go crying to any of my family now... They'd tell me to put my head up, stay strong, fake a smile and move on. I would have taken that advice a few years ago, But I can't take it that easily anymore.

It's not that easy to let go of someone you love as a friend or someone you are even in a relationship with. Even if that person isn't completly gone yet. But then you have the side of you that thinks they're not going to make it, but you also recieve the other side of you. The side where everything is filled with hope and Optimism for the future, hope that everything will be fine for that person... for everybody.

So don't tell me what I did was for nothing. I thought I was doing the best thing at the time. But I guess not. If I had to explain how I felt, I wouldn't know how, but I guess I have to try.

There's this one girl in your classes at school. She's known as Miss Popular.

You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and...

Dying on the inside. She's hurt. And tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look weak and attention seeking.

So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything's perfect, but cries at night. So everybody thinks she's the happiest person they know. That she has no problems, that her life is perfect.

If only they knew the truth... The prettiest smiles, can sometimes hold the most pain.

That's me.

Now I'm wearing the smile I don't believe in. I'm screaming on the inside. And I can't let it all out, I'm weak as it is.

Everyone supposedly has a guardian Angel. But seriously, I think my guardian angel drinks.

"Lillie?" Tyler said as he brought me closer to him. I almost didn't notice the tears running down my cheeks as he spoke. "Why are you crying beautiful?"

"I'm not beautiful. I'm anything but beautiful" I replyed in a hash type of tone.

"You are beautiful. But why are you crying?" Tyler repeated.

I ignored his question and asked my own.

"Define Beautiful for me Tyler, then look at where I stand."

"The definition of Beautiful is, you. And you stand right next to me. No actually infront of me" Tyler said smiling at me.

"No Tyler, you've got it all wro..." Tyler smashed his lips onto mine and kissed me. My eyes widened, then I kissed back. My eyes fluttered close as he wrapped his arms around me.

"That was the best way to be told to shut up" I breathed when we broke apart.

Tyler smiled his cute little grin at me and we continued to walk towards where the cars were parked.

Eventually the cars came into view and everyone started running towards them... Everybody but me.

I wasn't actually planning on going. It would kill me seeing her laying in that hospital bed, knowing that it was my fault. I couldn't handle seeing that. Of course, I didn't actually have anywhere to go, I would probably end up staying in that hotel we was originally going to stay at.

Tyler stopped and turned back to face me. He came running back towards me and stopped as he stared at me.

I returned his stare, and our gazes locked as he frowned suddenly.

"Come on" He said taking hold of my hand.

I sharply snatched my hand away from him and just looked down at it. "I'm not going" I whispered.

"What?"

"I'm not going" I repeated.

Tyler frowned again and shook his head slowly at me. "You are. Now come on" He said grabbing my wrist and trying to drag me along.

"Tyler. Ty's kissing another girl!" I yelled quickly, as a diversion, as I pointed towards a random building. Ty wasn't actually kissing another girl, I just needed to get away.

Tyler turned around at the speed of light in the direction I pointed in, letting go of my wrist.

I took my chance and started running. I turned back to see Tyler started to shout something. I didn't hear what he said as I stopped in the middle of the road.

"LILLIE!" I heard someone yell.

I turned to see a car speeding my way. I was frozen and all of a sudden something hit me. My head hit the ground as I rolled and everything went black.