Kiwi | Harry Styles

Forty-Two

Jessi

It was the night I'd been dreading, the night of the AMA's and Harry and I were sharing a car with Lori and Niall. We figured people would be less likely to talk if we arrived together. I was feeling pretty anxious. Not just about the crowds and the paparazzi but this would be the first time, since that dumb club, where Harry and I had to be a secret. All those feelings of wanting the world to know I was his had come bubbling to the surface again.

"You okay, baby?" Harry smiled. He looked A-MA-ZING! He had on a black and white floral Gucci suit, his long curly hair framing his face perfectly. Looking at him was like looking at my own personal piece of heaven except he wasn't mine, not for the next few hours anyway. But Harry wanted it this way and truthfully I liked having our privacy too, I just didn't enjoy watching from the sidelines while Harry worked the room or the party. I didn't enjoy watching pretty women flirt with him or men for that matter. I didn't like not being able to touch him, to be near him. He was my comfort in a room full of people and like a sulking child I was anxious without it and it made me pouty.

"No, I'm scared. There will be crowds of people everywhere. Why did I let you talk me into this?" I frowned.

"Because you love me and because I agreed to your little Marcel kink." He chuckled. I fidgeted with the hem of my dress. "Jess, don't worry, you'll be okay. I promise. There'll be barriers, nobody can get to you." Harry squeezed my hand tight. Easy for him to say, he wouldn't even be anywhere near me. "Jessi, stop that!" Harry grabbed my free hand which had been clawing at my other arm, I hadn't even noticed I was doing it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"I didn't realise you'd be so freaked out, do you want me to take you home?" Harry brushed my hair back from my face.

"You can't leave, Harry." Niall said.

"Like hell I can't. Jessi's more important!" Harry snapped.

"Stop! I'll be okay. Niall's right. You can't leave. You promise Matt will take me and Lori straight to the entrance to wait for you guys?" I replied.

"I promise. Matt and Lori will be right beside you all the time." Harry smiled. "Here." He pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and pulled a black hair elastic from his wrist and slid it over mine. "You know about the wristband technique, yeah? Whenever you're feeling anxious, you snap the band." He pinged the elastic against my wrist. 

"You'll be okay, Jessi. Just breathe." I gasped as the mantra fell from my lips in response to the sensation. I hadn't needed my wristband for a long time and my eyes snapped to Harry, why did he know about the technique? 

"You'll be fine, Jess. Honest." Lori added.

"We're here." Matt yelled from the front seat.

Before I could panic all over again, Harry kissed me. My worries disappearing until he let me go.

"I'll see you real soon, Baby." He promised, his fingers brushing over the band securely wrapped around my wrist. Someone pulled the car door open, and it sounded like all hell broke loose. People were screaming Harry and Niall's name. Cameras were flashing everywhere. Niall climbed out first, followed by Harry. They met up with Liam and Louis who'd been waiting for them and once they had walked away from the car a little Matt instructed me and Lori to get out.

"Come on, you'll be fine." Lori was so excited. She held my hand as we climbed outside and as soon as we did I heard more screaming. My eyes caught Harry's, and he smiled at me "You'll be okay." He mouthed, and I smiled back at him, vowing to find out what he was anxious about.

I held Lori's hand tight as we followed Matt along the carpet, ignoring the people yelling at us. Some of Niall's fans yelled Lori's name and I could tell she wanted to stop and talk to them so I took a deep breath and pulled her to a stop.