Kiwi | Harry Styles

Sixty-Four

Dougie

I watched Jessi as she walked back towards me, she'd been dancing with some girls who'd asked her to dance, I didn't know them. We were at another YSL party, in London this time, and it had been a week since I confessed that I loved her. She still hadn't said it back but things were going well between us, we were spending almost all of our free time together; she got on great with my friends. They loved her almost as much as I did.

"Do you know those girls?" I asked as she kissed my lips and sat down beside me.

"Friend's of Harry's." She said, her hand squeezing my thigh. "You wanna dance?"

"With you? Yes." I smiled following behind her as she held my hand. I loved watching her dance, the way her hips swayed, the way her back curved, how she licked her lips without realising it. She looked amazing. I smiled as she pulled me closer, her body grinding into mine and then she suddenly stopped, her body frozen like a statue. Her hands were clutching my shoulders as she looked behind me. I turned around to follow her gaze and there he was, Harry Styles. I turned back to look at her and immediately wished I hadn't. Her palms were sweating, I could feel her heart thumping in her chest and most telling of all was the look in her eyes. She was looking at him the way I longed for her to look at me. She loved him. She was still fucking in love with him. Oh Dougie, you idiot!

She only looked away when the girl he was with kissed him. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" She yelled over the music, her eyes meeting mine. I shook my head.

"Do you want to say hello?" I asked, nodding my head towards Harry. Now she was the one shaking her head. "Do you want to leave?" She shook her head again. "Okay, let's sit down. I'll go get us some water, yeah?"

"Thank you." She smiled and walked back to where we'd been sitting before. I walked towards the bar and leaned over the bar to try to get the bartender's attention.

"Doug!" I recognised his voice.

"Harold!" I replied.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"Are you really interested in how I'm doing or are you more interested in who I'm doing?" I surprised myself with my sudden outburst but I was pissed off. Mainly with myself for being so stupid, it was just like me to fall for somebody who was unavailable.

"Alright, chill out Doug!" He chuckled, but I saw him glance over to where Jessi was sitting. "I haven't even spoken to her since New Year." She had her nose in her phone, a sad look on her face.

"Two waters, please?" I smiled at the bartender once I'd finally got his attention.

"Doug, take care of her, yeah?" Harry smiled and from that simple statement I knew he still cared for her too. Double fuck! I was going to have to let her go, wasn't I?

"Dougie, I changed my mind. Can we go home, please?" Jess asked as soon as I came back with our drinks.

"Yeah." I nodded, helping her put on her jacket before putting on mine. I held her hand as we walked outside, making the most of every second. The way her fingers gently pressed on my knuckles, the little smile that spread over her face as I ran my thumb over her palm. I waved down a taxi and whispered the address of her hotel as we got inside. I smiled as she lay her head on my shoulder, her hair tickling my ear. I held her tight, never wanting to let go, but I had to. I knew that now, she was never mine, but I wanted to pretend just a little longer.

"Jess?" I asked when we were almost at her hotel.

"Yeah?" She mumbled, moving her head, so it was more comfortable.

"You still love him, don't you?" The words hung in the air for what felt like forever.

"I'm trying not to, I really am, Doug." She whispered, her hand squeezing my thigh.