Kiwi | Harry Styles

Fifty-Eight

Jessi

"Uhm... So I have to be up early tomorrow?" My eyes glanced over the male body beside me, wishing with all my heart he was somebody else. This was a mistake. I thought it would make me feel better, but if anything I felt worse, emptier and more alone.

"You don't have to make pathetic excuses. If you want me to leave just say so?" Mickey scoffed. Ah and there it is, the real asshole shining through now he'd gotten what he wanted. Fuck! I'm an idiot!

"Fine. Leave." I growled at him, getting out of bed and putting on an old oversized t-shirt.

"See. Wasn't so hard was it?" He smirked, picking up his clothes as slowly as he could. "So I'd like to do this again?"

"Seriously? This was a mistake, it should never have happened." I held my head in my hands.

"Calm down Jessi, it was just sex. We didn't kill anyone. I don't have time for a relationship and you - well you don't seem to want a relationship either so..." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I wanted to smack him but he had a point. A relationship was the last thing I wanted, and the sex wasn't bad. Was I seriously considering this?

"How would it work?" I said, almost in a whisper.

"I'll call you when I'm horny and vice versa." Mickey smirked.

"No dates. No gifts and no staying over." I added.

"Deal?" He held out his hand, and I shook it. "I guess I'll be seeing you." He smirked as he left and I couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself. I picked up all my clothes and shoved them in the laundry basket and then my eyes fell on my bed, the sheets all wrinkled from where we'd just had sex and I began to strip the bed. All the happy memories I had with Harry in this bed seemed tainted. I squashed all the dirty sheets in beside my clothes and headed to the shower. I tried in vain to wash all the guilt and regret from my body but the more I scrubbed, the worse I felt. What the fuck had I done?

-----

Harry

I woke up with a pounding headache; I flung my arm out to reach the glass of water I kept on the bedside table and my body fell to the floor with a thump.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Oh fuck! No! I curled up on the floor and closed my eyes, willing myself to wake up properly. The memories of last night came flooding back to me. Jess - the bottle of Tequila - Dallas. I groaned as I hugged my knees to my chest. What the hell was drunk me thinking? "Harry? Babe?" Dallas' feet landed with a thud beside my head. "If you're gonna hurl, then please do it in the bathroom!"

"Don't need to, could you grab me some water, please?" Jess would have already got me an icy glass of cold water and some painkillers by now.

"Oh, all right. Get up! You can't stay there all day!" She huffed as I heard her footsteps get further and further away. I rolled onto my back and banged my head against the floor. What the fuck was I doing here?

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Jessi

One month later.

I was in LA, heading to Lori and Niall's. We were meeting up for lunch and I couldn't wait. I'd missed them so much but this past month had been crazy. I was arranging my own photography jobs, and they were random and varied and all over the place. It was exhausting but exciting. I'd met up with Zayn and Louis and a few of their friends about a week ago, Harry was supposed to be there too but he canceled at the last minute. Louis let slip that he was avoiding me which I admit hurt but I couldn't force him to see me. He was still with Dallas which hurt a little more, despite everyone saying they weren't serious, they'd been together for almost five months now.