30•Mr. Xan

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Misery and agony are two words I could describe how I felt daily

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Misery and agony are two words I could describe how I felt daily. I did have a few good moments. I no longer worked in Sales. I invested in my own start-up philanthropy work. An art studio specifically to help kids of all ages to have an outlet. I'd been saving for awhile and finally it felt right to make that next move.

My business was growing even further. I partnered up with other well known companies. I was trying to make it a movement. I reached out to a lot of my frat brothers and past clients. They were more than willing to get on board. It helps to keep yourself connected along the way. It paid off.

I struggled trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life. It was always in me. It was just a matter of being strong enough to be ok with possible failure.

My goal was to reach as many kids all over. Let them know they shouldn't be ashamed of being an artist. It's ok to express yourself and your work shouldn't be hidden. Rather it's poetry, music, or like myself painting. Just do it because it fulfills you.

We're in the process of opening a poetry lounge, a music studio, and a few others. It was all for the kids. We offer classes, concerts, studio time with engineers you name it.

My assistant Melanie, I had to fire her before I left advertising. She went too far with the flirting. She was in my office one day and we were going over her last meeting. She came on to me. She got out of her chair and plopped in my lap. I moved her off. She tried grabbing at my pants. She was desperately trying to make a move.

Some would ask why didn't I let her. She was beautiful I won't deny that. I just wasn't feeling her or anyone for that matter. Raina still had my heart. Plus, I was too focused on my next move. I was grinding at a fast-paced.

I hope Melanie gets help though. Her being that needy had me concerned for her mental. Talking about she would do anything to have me inside her. I knew crazy when I saw it.

I was at my parents house in the basement waiting on my dad to come home. He had been really distant. I wasn't sure why. I asked my mama about it she didn't have any answers either.

"Hey son what's up? What are you doing here?" He joined me.

"Came to see you. You've been missing in action." I turned my attention to him. His energy seemed different. "Dealing with a lot at work that's all. Hows things looking on your end? How's the new partnerships going?" He tried his best to cheer himself up.

"Everything's working out. Im eager to make a difference." I took a beat, pausing. "Pops what's going on with you?"

"Nothing Adrian. I just said it's work." I guess he felt offended by my line of questions. But I kept them coming. "Why haven't you been home much? Why y'all acting so weird around here?"

"If you came by to question me you can leave. I answered you. Stop asking." Attitude much?

"Aight, I won't ask again." I told him. I should've hopped up and left out after that. Came back when he was in a better mood but I stayed. Just to cool the air. I was already highly stressed. The last thing I wanted to worry about was my parents.

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