"If someone loves you, they'd never put themselves in a position to hurt you."
Warning: some mature content/strong language
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1st place in Solo Taehyung category at the MagicShopAwards 2019
2nd place in Solo Taehyung category at the PurpleLightsAw...
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Jungkook's POV
Standing in the dull hospital hallway, my thoughts were a chaotic mess. My unsettled eyes glanced all around me in an almost paranoid manner. My misery came to me in grueling waves, stretching and tearing me apart all at the same time.
Rooted to the spot, my unsteady hand reached out for the chrome doorknob only to fall back to my side powerlessly. Why was I here? A question I didn't have an answer to. I felt as if the world had rolled off its axis and I was this completely different person, this brittle and fragile mess of raw devastation.
I wanted to cry, but I had never been much of a crier, at least not outwardly. My eyes were dry but my soul wept and trembled with uncried tears.
In a matter of just some months, my world had crumbled on my fingertips. I had lost everything I ever had, not that it had been much. It was only her.
Only her.
Something inside of me ached terribly. In my life, I had endured a lot of pain but this was something I knew I'd never be able to bounce back from. Losing her left such a giant pit in my heart, it was ripping me apart.
Some minutes ago when we were talking, I forced it on myself to keep my composure when in reality I wanted to grab her, to hold her in my arms and kiss every inch of her body. I wanted to fall on my knees and beg for her love. For her to take me back. Like a child, I wanted to sob unceasingly.
Yes, I was that pathetic for her.
I'm not over it. I'll never be.
I'll never be okay again.
Colorful spots flashed before my eyes as I realized how futile all of that would be. Every ounce of me wished I had the character to simply walk away but I knew that was impossible. Here I was, pulled in here by some unexplainable force of attraction.
I can never walk away from her.
If getting past that pain means erasing her from my memory, then I'll gladly suffer all my life than forget about her.
For the first time in my life, I was torn and lost.
My body went weak again. I was so used to being strong and decisive. Restless, I spun on my heel and turned my back on the beige hospital door. I allowed myself to dive back into my cowardly hesitation. Coming here was a mistake. I can't just walk in. I can't.
But then again, if I wanted to be good enough for her... if I wanted to show her I was deserving... I had to do it.
