This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 19: This Ain't a Love Song

Nikki

I watch Melody leave, entering the elevator and closing the doors. She isn't going to change her mind and come back, so I should let her go. I feel horrible for not going after her, but she wouldn't tell me what she wanted to say. I can't impose myself. She just looked so sad and defeated, I know that she was on the brink of crying. I just shouldn't fight if I don't know if I have anything to fight for.

As I approach my room, I notice her notebook on the ground. I pick it up and unlock the door to let us in, debating whether I want to go through with this or not. I place the notebook on top of the small suitcase I have so that I won't forget it. I'll just slip it in her things tomorrow, she won't notice.

"I've never been with a Rockstar before." The blonde chick in front of me says.

I don't know her name, I never even asked for it. That's really the last thing on my mind now after seeing Melody.

"You know... I don't know if I'm really in the mood anymore," I begin to open the door to let her out, "I'm sorry for inconveniencing you."

Disgust is written all over her face in the matter of a second. "What? I don't even have a way home! You can't embarrass me like this!"

"Look, it's not you, it's just... me. Please just go, don't make this hard." I sigh.

"But... I want to make you hard." She slinks towards me and grabs my dick through my pants.

I feel too defeated to fight, maybe this one time won't matter. Maybe I will feel better after this, what doesn't sex solve?

"Fuck it. You want some coke?"

I pour out a couple lines for both of us, she and I kiss between hits. Eventually, our clothes fly across the room, and I revel in feeling bare skin against mine for the first time in a week. It feels euphoric.

"Mick, are you in there?" I hear Vince yell from the hall.

He sure knows how to ruin the mood.

"Focus on me, baby." She says, redirecting my attention.

Her lips envelope my cock, immersing me in the sensation. However, the yelling and fists pounding on Mick's door, makes it hard for me to focus on anything but that.

She scoffs, "I thought you were supposed to be good at this."

"I am, but do you year that outside?" I grumble.

"I work at a strip club, I know how to drown out sounds."

After a few minutes, Vince finally gives up and I hear him open and close the door to his room as she stops giving me head.

"Okay, now fuck me."

I do another line, then shove her onto the couch face down, ass in the air. Maybe it would be better if I didn't see her face.

"Hey, I paid a lot of money for these tits and my nose." She whines.

"Well, I'm not fucking them, am I?"
——
That was the worst sex I have had in a very long time. I feel dirty, like a cheat, and Vince making all that noise ruined the mood. I set up to smoke some dope as she dresses, going on about that being the best sex of her life. Ha. What a lie. When she finally leaves, I take a quick shower and smoke more heroin. Nothing compares to shooting but I'm trying to be good right now.

I feel antsy and on edge, especially thinking about how amazing I could feel right now. The sex was unsatisfactory, just smoking heroin isn't hitting the spot... I do have Melody's notebook. I shouldn't read it though, that would be like invading her privacy, right? I study it, it's a pretty nice notebook- sorry, journal, as it says on the inside. It's made of brown leather that definitely hasn't been worn in yet, which surprises me.