This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 33: Drive

"Tommy, will you stop fucking drumming?" I say angrily, then turn back around to try and focus on the book that I'm reading. "So sorry that I'm interrupting you, princess." He snorts. I hear Vince chuckle, so I shoot him a death glare and he stops. "You know what, I'll just go to the back, then you all can be as loud as you want." I get up and stumble past bags and empty liquor bottles. Nikki is still in the bathroom, I assume shooting up heroin, since that's what he did in the bathroom at the Mexican restaurant earlier. I don't even know if I want to tell him about Jon or not, I don't know if it's worth it. I'm too angry to even think straight right now. The bus has been nonstop for hours, and we are still a good way away from the hotel. I can't focus on anything and Tommy's constant drumming has given me a headache. I forgot how awful the tour bus can be, especially now that there's 6 of us. I open the door that leads to the bunks and back bedroom, and see Mallory giving Mick a blowjob. "Oh my god." I slam the door shut while the two assholes roar with laughter behind me. "That's fucking awesome!" Tommy laughs. "I could have gone my whole life without seeing that." I walk back to my seat, still stunned by what I saw a few seconds ago. "What happened?" Nikki says, stumbling out of the bathroom. He's so high right now, I am slightly disgusted. "Your girlfriend walked in on Mallory giving Mick a BJ." Vince chuckles. "Did you see his dick?" He asks me. "N-No, not really." "I guess it doesn't really matter, you fucked Vince, so what does one more band member matter?" He flops down in a chair and chugs Jack out of a bottle he picked up off the floor. My cheeks heat up, making me turn away and bury my face in my book. That was so fucking embarrassing. "Oh hey, look, you traumatized Melody." I hear Tommy say. "You guys are assholes." I say as I get up to finally go to the back, so I can be alone. I slam the door shut behind me, then I shut and lock the door to the back room. I was fine until I realized that Nikki shot up in the bathroom at the restaurant, then, I was pissed. I don't mean to be like this, but I haven't done any drugs in so long, and Tommy keeps drumming, then he and Vince keep making rude comments, and I just can't take it. I feel like a bitch, but it's like I can't control it. All I can think about is drugs, I feel fucking trapped. "Hey, will you unlock the door?" Nikki asks. I roll my eyes then get up to unlock the door, not opening it for him, then, I sit down. He opens the door and sits down next to me, closing the door with his foot, "What's wrong?" "I'm fine, I think I'm just close to starting my period." I shrug, looking down at my book. "I have known you for more than a year now, I know this isn't how you act around your period. Something happened, and I want to know." "I didn't want to tell you, because I know you'll break up with me again, but I know I shouldn't keep things from you," I dry swallow, still not looking at him, "When you went to the bathroom, I saw that the back door of my car was open. So, I went out to close it and Jon came up to me and started talking... then he kissed me. That's when I pushed him away, closed the door, and I almost got hit by a car on my way back inside. Mick and Mallory saw the whole thing apparently." "Thank you for telling me." he sighs. I take off my ring and hand it to him, I know he'll want it back. "What are you doing?" "I'm giving you back the ring, I know you would want it back." "No, look at me, Mel. I'm not breaking off the engagement, I know that you didn't cheat on me. I'm not mad at you, baby." "Y-You're not?" "No, I want to kill him, but I'm not mad at you," He says and kisses my forehead. He takes the ring from me and slips it back on my finger, then he places a kiss to my hand, "There, that looks much better." "Why are you so sweet?" I ask, laying my head against his arm. "I'm only sweet for you, trust me. Jon is going to fucking pay, and I'm not going through Doc, it's going to be personal." "That's why I didn't want to tell you, I know he did it to get a rise out of you. I don't even know why, he doesn't even know you." "People don't have to know you to dislike you, Mel." He sighs. "Yeah, I know that all too well." "I'm sorry baby. What's the other thing that's bothering you?" He wraps his arm around me, tracing circles on my arm with his thumb. "I want drugs. I wasn't going to tell you that either, but I want them so badly." "You've been without them for over a month now because of rehab though." "I know, but that wasn't my choice. Detoxing sucked so bad, heroin withdrawal is fucking horrible, but the high is worth it. You know that I never did that much, I just had a good time." "I don't want you to be like me, Mel, I really don't." "I'll be fine, Nikki, just give me some, please." I beg. "Fine, but I'm not always going to say yes." I ignore him, rummaging through his bag to find a rig and some smack. I shoot up right there, in front of him like a fucking junkie.