This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 34: What's It Gonna Take

*I was looking through my chapters and noticed this one had over half of it cut out, so I decided to add on to it*

"Nikki, I don't care what he did, you can't hire people to beat his face in!" Doc yells. "Well, no one ever told me that I couldn't. He fucking kissed my fiancé and made her uncomfortable, I would say that he really deserves it." Nikki retorts. "I swear, all you boys kill me. I will have a talk with him, but you better not do this again." I hear the door slam shut and Nikki walks back in the room. I guess Nikki hired some guys to find Jon and beat him up real bad and say that was from Nikki. Doc didn't take to kindly to that one. Five days into tour and they're already getting pissed off at the guys for the crazy shit they've been doing. "Hey, will you hand me a rig?" He asks me."Sure." I give it to him, and he pulls heroin out of his pocket. It seems like he always has it on him these days. The sex hasn't been better either. I have had to fake an orgasm so many times, it seems like second nature to me. I don't know what's wrong with me, I used to be fine, it's not like Nikki is suddenly bad or something. "You want some?" He asks. "Yeah, do it for me." I always hate the needle going in my skin, I dread that part of shooting up, how weird? This tour has been boring, some venues won't let me and Mallory watch the shows I guess, so we have only seen one show so far. Kind of makes me wonder what they do up on stage when we can't watch them. Mallory has been getting so jealous, she told me that she stopped taking her birth control, so Mick will get her pregnant. She is getting to be a little crazy, I think it may be because she's off the pill. Maybe I should try to go off mine, maybe that's what is ruining my sex drive. I feel Nikki tie the tourniquet around my arm, shaking me out of my thoughts. I can almost taste the heroin as he shoots it into my veins. "Shit, that's good." I say. "It came from Mexico apparently." He says. I can feel some tension between me and Nikki lately, and it's only been five days, like I said. I don't know, I hope this tour goes okay. I still feel bad for coming along and ruining like everything. "Doc wanted me to tell you that we can't let you and Mallory out into the crowd anymore. It's not safe for your guys and we can't risk you getting hurt." "But that's the best view!" "I know, I told him that, but management won't listen." He shrugs. "They ruin everything, I swear. Why is this tour no fun?" I sigh. "I don't know, it's safer for the both of you to not be out in the crowd where anyone could take you guys." "Melody!" I hear Mallory yell from out in the hall while she bangs on the door. "Whaaaat?" I yell back and open the door. "This!" She yells and holds a pregnancy test in front of my face. "No, you're not." I roll my eyes. "Yes, I am! It's positive!" "Does Mick know this?" Nikki asks. "Oh... I didn't know he was here. Don't tell him, I want to." She says. "You need to find out if that's a false positive before telling him. We can go to a clinic and have them test your urine." "Mel, you don't believe me? I want this, you know that I have wanted this for so long." "You've only been dating him for 4 or 5 months though." Nikki says. "So were you and Melody, and you were excited." she scoffs. "Mick already has 2 kids that he pays child support for, I don't know if he's looking to have another one right now." "Why can't you two just be happy for me?" "We are, Mal, I just don't want you to get your hopes up just to be let down. We can go to a clinic right now." I softly smile. "Fine, I don't want him to come with us though." "That's fine with me." Nikki shrugs. I really wasn't planning on going places today, I wanted to just lay in bed high all day. I wanted to try and have sex with Nikki again, I don't think it'll work though. Maybe I need to go to the clinic for help. I quickly change my clothes, say bye to Nikki, and we head out to catch a cab. "I want this to be true so badly, I think Mick would be happy, don't you think?" "I mean, he may be, I can't be too sure. I think you know him better than the rest of us." "Yeah, I do, don't I?" She smiles. She is acting so weird, I am really worried about her right now. We get in the cab and tell them the name of the building, he seems to already know where it's located, thankfully. Mallory still has the pregnancy test in her hands, I didn't realize that she had it out in the open this whole time, the driver probably thinks she's a freak. "Here you ladies go, goodluck." He says to Mallory, I pay him, and we get out of the cab. The clinic is very clean and pastel on the inside, the staff is mostly made of women with bright smiles. "Hi, how may I help you?" The blonde receptionist flashes two rows of perfect teeth. "I need to take another pregnancy test. It should be positive like this one." She says and holds up the test she took at home. The receptionists smile falters a bit as she realizes Mallory has a stick with pee on it in a clinic, and she is touching things. "Let me throw that away for you, it has urine on it." "No, I want to keep it." "Mallory, please just let her throw it away." I sigh. "Fine." She rolls her eyes and puts it in the trash can. "Okay, have a seat and a nurse will be right with you."

I watch her wipe down her area when we sit down, I don't blame her in the slightest. I look over at Mallory, she's staring at the floor, her hands are clasped so tight that it's turning her knuckles white. "Do you want me to go back with you?" I ask. "Um... I don't know." She says with a hushed tone. "Matthews" the nurse calls. She gets up and I follow her back to the room the nurse leads us to. She takes her weight and vitals, which concern me a bit. She weighs 95 pounds, and her heart rate is 120. "Why are you here today? The receptionist said you came in with a positive test." "Y-Yeah, I'm pregnant." "She wants to take a urine test here to be 100 percent sure." I say for her. "Okay, we can do that. Here's a cup," she says, reaching into a cupboard above the sink, "When you're done, leave it on the sink in the bathroom." "I don't need another test, I'm pregnant." "Well, we need to test here because at home tests can be wrong sometimes." The nurse says. "No! I've been sick, I've gained weight, I haven't had my period yet either." "Mal, take the test please." I say. "Fine." She forcefully grabs the cup from the nurse, and slams the bathroom door shut. "I'm worried about her." I say to the nurse in a hushed voice. "Yeah, she seems a bit... off." "I don't know what could be wrong." She walks out of the bathroom and sits back on the table without a word. "Okay, the doctor will be in here shortly to discuss the results. Have a good day, ladies." She places the cup in a hazard bag and then walks out the door. I watch Mallory, she looks weird. I don't want to overthink things, but she just seems and looks off, but I don't know what it is. Is she on drugs right now? Someone knocks on the door a few minutes later and who I assume to be the doctor walks in. "Hi, I'm Lainey, how are you ladies doing today?" She asks. "We are good." I smile. Mallory just looks at her. "So, Mallory, your results came back negative, but you said you've been having some pregnancy side effects?" "I am pregnant, my test said so." "I'm sorry, our test came back negative, it is more accurate than at home tests." "Well then, do another test!" She demands. "The only thing left to do is a blood test, but I think that is unnecessary at this point. Tell me about your symptoms." "I have to be pregnant, you don't understand! Mick will leave me if I'm not, I don't want him to leave me!" "Mal, it will be okay, I promise you. Just tell the doctor what's been going on with you and we can figure something out, okay?" I say. "Well, I've been sick, I've had a loss of appetite, I've been sweating and bloated, and I've had cramps." "That doesn't all sound like pregnancy symptoms, maybe you have the flu or a stomach virus, we can check for you." She offers. "I want the blood test, I know that I'm pregnant. See, I'm sweating now!" She takes off her jacket and I glance down at her arm seeing bruises track marks. "Mal, I think you should listen to the doctor, maybe you aren't actually pregnant. I know it's something you don't want to hear, but you can always try again." I look up at the doctor who is also looking at Mallory's arm. "Have you done any illegal substances recently?" She asks. "What, no, why would I do that if I'm pregnant?" Mallory says, appalled. "I'm thinking that your "pregnancy symptoms" are coming from some type of drug, not an actual pregnancy. You can't get pregnant while you are using illegal substances, and I promise that I will have CPS on your case if you do, do you hear me?" "Y-yes." Mallory crosses her arms, hiding them from us. "Okay, good. I hope you get clean and can get pregnant then, I'm sure you're not a bad person. Take care of yourself." The doctor walks out of the room and Mallory immediately starts bawling. "I'm a terrible person!" "No, you're not, you've just made some bad choices." "No, I hate myself, Melody, you don't understand. Meth is the only thing that makes me happy and feel normal." "Meth? You do meth? Do you even understand how bad that is?" I'm completely in shock that, that's her drug of choice. "Really, you do heroin, that's not much better." She rolls her eyes. I mean, she does have a point, but meth... that's like made out of household cleaning products. I can't judge her though, I just have to help her get better and try to help her and Mick get back on track because I know how in love they used to be. He used to be the happiest I have ever seen him when they first started dating, but I also know that things change. Look at Nikki and I, we used to be so happy, now things could definitely be better. Maybe it's just the drugs! That's good and bad; good if we can quit, bad if we can't and don't want to quit. I'm sure that I can help Mallory and Mick though, I really want to. "Okay, lets just get back to the hotel and you can rest then." I say. "Yeah, that sounds good. Mel, do you think that I would make a good mom?" "I'm sure you would, just not right now, now, we need to focus on getting you clean and healthy. You know that I care about you, right?" "Yes, and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. Mick is so lucky that you are part of his life, and so am I."