This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 31: Say Yeah

Nikki

"Mel, don't you think it's a little weird to play the band's music?" I ask. "Nope, I love it." She grins, then goes back to singing along with Shout at The Devil. I mean, I think our music rocks, but I'm not the kind of self-entitled asshole who would listen to my own music. Melody has been playing our albums all morning as she's been cleaning the house. She found out that I hired a maid, so now, she cleans before the maid comes because she feels bad about her cleaning up after us. I go back to the bedroom, feeling jittery from not having any heroin in a couple hours. I ran out and my dealer still isn't here, but I don't want to get it in front of Melody. She has been clean for a while now, I don't want to be the reason why she relapses. I'm lucky that she decided that she wants to be in my life again; she said her answer was yes. That's why Melody doesn't know what I have planned for her today. I want it to be absolutely perfect, I need it all to go according to plan. I also really need my fucking dealer to get here before I do a little remodeling to the house, and his face. I don't need it, it just makes me feel... better. I started using more once Melody and I split, then more when she went to rehab. I could quit anytime that I want though, I know that. Melody did it, I could too just as easily. "Hey baby, someone is at the door, I don't know who it is." Melody comes into the room, stopping me mid pace. It's Johnathan. "I'll go see who it is, you go back cleaning or something, I don't want him to see you." I say. I'm not lying, really, I don't want him seeing her. I don't want her seeing what I'm doing either. I go to the door and open it, quickly slipping out onto the porch. "I got the stuff. I didn't have as much heroin as you ordered, I owe you some." He says. I feel myself get angry when he says that. "What kind of drug dealer doesn't have the shit their client ordered?" "I'm sorry man, someone came in and my buddy took care of them, I had no idea until afterwards." "Fine, but I'm not paying you for what you owe me." We exchange what's in our hands, I shove the drugs in my pocket, and walk back in the house. "Who was it?" Melody asks. "One of those... Mormons asking me about Jesus and the church. They have been around the neighborhood recently." That was a really weird lie. "Oh... okay. Don't forget that we have to pick up my car today." I had the interior reupholstered, and I had them change the break pads. Melody said it wasn't necessary, but I think it was worth it for her. I want her to have her dream car, that means getting it the way she wants down to a T, so I of course had to do that. Now, I'm just trying to think if my plan for today will work out how it should. It all has to, it has to be special for her, I don't want her to forget this day. A proposal is not a small thing to me. Tommy got engaged to his girlfriend, whatever her name is, and they're just eloping after what happened to his other fiancé. Punching a girl in the face is never a good thing to do, even if they insult your mother. "Nikki, what are we doing for dinner? I could cook something, or we could go out, whatever you want to do." Melody says. "Tommy told me about this really good restaurant he takes his fiance to, I thought we could try it out sometime. Today is as good as ever." I shrug. I have to thank Tommy for being such a romantic, because I know Melody will love this place. It's on the beach with an ocean view, you can eat inside or outside on the patio that's pretty private. It has string lights and candles, and it's close to the boardwalk too, so we can take a nice walk while watching the sunset. I'm so nervous that she won't like the ring or that she won't say yes. Mallory and Maria helped me pick out the ring; aquamarine is her favorite gemstone, so I thought it would be unique to get her that instead of diamond. She is too special to have a plain, boring ring. I sneak off to the bathroom, carefully pulling the drugs out of my pocket. I take out the lighter and spoon that I always have hidden in all the bathrooms, get a rig ready, and finally get the high I have been craving all day. I then put everything away and stash the drugs back in my pocket, so Melody won't find them. I go to find her when I walk out of the bathroom to see if she is finished with her cleaning spree. I pay that maid money for no reason now that Melody is back but, I will admit that it's kind of cute. She cares so much about other people; she never wants to put more work on other people. She's such a good person, and she's with me. I don't know why she stays around and wants to stay with me, I don't know if I will ever understand that. She really is too good for me, I just hope that she never realizes that; as bad at that sounds. I don't know what I would do if I lost her for good, when she had sex with Vince, I thought we were done for good. I was angry at her though, I didn't care, but now, I know that was a huge mistake. I would be stupid to ever leave her again, that's a fact.