Until The Sun Dies

Why Does This Feel Like Goodbye?

 After a decently filling lunch from Fry, everyone starts to get ready for tonight. It was decided that you, Newt, and Thomas would pose as Teresa's guards to first break into the building. As you dawn the wicked gear, nerves shoot through your system. You have every reason to be afraid, for Newt, for Minho, for all of the people you have grown so close to. Losing any one of them would feel like the end of the world. But your main concern is Newt. As time goes on he looks less and less healthy. He's constantly rubbing his arm and has sudden outbursts of un-called for anger. You finish changing clothes and look in the mirror. You don't look bad at all, in fact the suit is almost flattering, although you can't keep yourself from looking at it with disgust. It's part of WICKED, and WICKED disgusts you. You walk out and find Newt who now has his uniform on. It's mostly black like yours and Thomas's, but his has bits of red in different places. It's definitely flattering on him. He looks good. Really good. Everyone is pretty much ready now, all waiting around in fearful anticipation. Jorge left about an hour ago to get the berg. Brenda and Fry are leaving in about 5 minutes, while your Group and Gally don't leave for another hour or so. Everyone sits in silence. Not an awkward silence but the kind where everyone has the same thing going through their minds, so there's no need to speak. Finally, Fry and Brenda stand up and start their goodbyes, and you walk over to Fry first. Giving him a big hug you say, "Hey, be careful out there. We'll starve without you." Fry smiles, "Ahh, just admit it, you would miss my beautiful face." Laughing you add, "Whatever you want to tell yourself." Fry smiles and pulls you into another hug, then to your surprise he whispers in your ear, "Take care of Newt alright." You nod, "I will." Fry then turns to Thomas and you go over to Brenda. You give her a hug before saying, "Alright, don't die out there. I can't have you ruining our plans to be cranks together." Brenda laughs, "Hey, by this point I don't think we're ever going to change." Then she turns serious, she grabs you gently by the shoulders, looking you in the eye, "Newt's going to be ok. Just get some of that serum from the vaults." You nod as a lump rises in your throat. You give Brenda one last hug and the two of them leave. You turn and look at Newt as one critical thought goes through your head. If you made a cure before, and Mary did it back at the Right Arm. With the microchip that was in your neck,

Teresa can save Newt.

 You still need Teresa. That's the only thought going through your head. You run a thousand different scenarios through your head, ways to get Teresa to make the cure, then to get it to Newt, all the while recusing Minho. Apparently, you've completely zoned out because the next thing you know, Newt is right in front of you trying to get your attention. "Y/n. Are you alright?" You shake your head, pushing your thoughts to the side. "Sorry Newt. I was just thinking." "What about?" You want to tell him, but you know he'll never go through with it, he'll just say, 'this is about Minho, not me.' You decide to say, "Just about tonight." Newt nods, then grabs you by the wrist, pulling you through the hallways passing door after door. "Newt where are we going?" "Just somewhere where we can talk in private." Newt finally stops at the balcony where you had fallen asleep last night. "Newt I don't understand..." Newt cuts you off with a kiss. It's sweet, yet full of fear. He breaks saying, "I don't know how much longer I have. I can feel the virus pulling at my senses all the time now like it's fighting for control over me. I've been able to keep it under wraps, but sometimes I can't. I don't have much time left and I don't want to waste a minute of it. Your eyes fill with tears as he continues, cupping your face with his hands, "I love you, I can't begin to describe how much you mean to me. You're the light in all of this darkness you're always there for me. I'm sorry I won't be able to be there for you anymore." He pulls you into another kiss. Your senses are overwhelmed with sadness, fear, passion, love, dread, and hope. This time you pull away. "Newt, don't talk like that. There's hope. Me and Brenda haven't changed, Newt it's been 6 months! A cure is possible, and the answer to it is in that microchip. All we have to do is get you some serum to keep you at bay until a cure can be made. We can get Teresa to make one, or maybe I can I made it before so maybe I could do it again. Please, PLEASE, don't give up hope." Tears are pouring out of your eyes now, showing your desperation for Newt to be ok, for him not to lose hope. Newt looks at you with tears in his own eyes and pulls you into one last kiss. Fire erupts within you as you pull yourself closer to him. You put your hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder and he wraps both of his arms around you holding you tightly to him. You want to hope that he'll be ok, but why does this feel like you're saying goodbye?