Until The Sun Dies

Grief

 Thomas: "We lost Y/n." The words come over Thomas's walkie like a hideous omen. Thomas stops in his tracks the weight of the words holding him in place. Then comes Newt's scream. Even over the walkie, it sends chills down Thomas's spine and tears up to his eyes. The boy wailed in such sadness, Thomas had never heard anything like it. Newt must've killed her. That was the most heart breaking thing of all. Thomas couldn't even imagine what it would be like to wake up, standing over Teresa's dead body, knowing it was all his fault. That he had killed her. Thomas throws the walkie at the closest wall with all his strength, letting out all of his grief, all of his rage. The devise shatters at first contact with the wall, providing little satisfaction. Thomas swallows his grief and starts to walk. The walk soon turns into a jog, then a run, then a sprint. His rage fueling his legs as they pound against the concrete roads. It is time for all of this to end. He's going kill Ava Paige. This is all their fault, Y/n is gone because of WICKED. Then he's going to get the cure. He already lost Y/n, no way he's losing Newt too. So Thomas runs. That's what he's good at. Once a Runner, always a Runner. Soon enough, Thomas finds himself back at WICKED's building. He starts walking, not sure of where to go. Luckily he doesn't have much time to wonder. He opens a door leading to a brand new hallway, and is met with Ava Paige's solum face. Thomas pointed his gun to her heart. His hand is trembling with the full force of his grief and rage. Ava just looks at him, almost like she feel sorry for him. Thomas can't take it anymore and tears come bubbling out of him. Does she know that the only pure thing in the world has just been brutally ripped out of it? Thomas decides to speak up, "Could I have prevented this?" His voice cracks, as he struggles to hold in the storm of emotions raging inside of him. "It's hard to say Thomas. Our choices today shape our future." Ava responds, her voice sad. Thomas has had enough, "Could I have saved her!?" Ava looks down at her feet, "You can save us all." Thomas drops his gun, hanging his head low. "Just help me save Newt. I'll do whatever you ask. But please don't hurt the others." His voice trembles as he speaks, he's given up on being strong, he's been strong long enough. Ava steps closer to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm. The gesture was almost motherly, it sends warmth through his arm letting him know that everything would be ok. That is until the gunshot sounded. A dot of red appears on her stark white shirt, growing rapidly like a disease. The woman crumples to the ground in front of Thomas, revealing Janson's rat-like face. 

Newt: 'Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love that has no place to go.' -That's a quote from Jamie Anderson. But Newt doesn't know that, all he know's is that describes exactly how he feels. He screams bloody murder as his friend drags him away fromY/n's body. Pain rakes his insides, not only from the black liquid still residing in his chest, but from the guilt that crushes him down to his soul. It hurts knowing that you tried your best, the full 100% but it still wasn't good enough. Newt screams as loud as he can, hoping that it would drown out the pain, grief and guilt. He killed her. Newt killed Y/n. That knowledge is unbearable. Never once did he think he would be the one to live while she was the one to die. He was so sure of how it was going to end, he was going to die, she would be hurt for a while but eventually move on and live a happy life. But no, it was her. Newt grips onto the letter he had planned to give to her. He made one for Tommy and her, the two most important people in the world. But he never got to give it to her. He remembers perfectly what it says, "Y/n. I'm gone now, and I know that you're hurting. But I want you to know I wasn't scared, not of dying that is. I was more scared of losing my mind, the possibility of hurting someone I love. The fact that I could hurt you. There's one thing you should know though. I may be dead, but the sun still hasn't died yet. So I will keep my promise. Even now that I'm gone, I'll love you til the sun dies. -Newt" The one thing Newt feared. The only thing Newt was ever afraid of came true. He not only hurt Y/n but killed her. With his own hands, she was stabbed and choked until all the life drained out of her. And now he's alive, in a world without her. What's the point of living when all you have is death? And for the first time in a very, very long time, Newt wishes he was dead. Newt finally stops screaming when Minho lays him down across a bench in the berg. There, Newt rolls to face the wall and continues to sob, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. Newt hears Jorge ask Minho what happened. The man could be such an idiot. All at once, everyone behind him goes silent. Then Jorge speaks up, amazement in his voice, "You guys... She has a pulse."