I'm Fine

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I'm barely conscious.

Every time I think I'm awake, exhaustion pulls me back down into darkness. I have to keep reminding myself where I am to try to dig myself out.

Hospital.

Seoul.

Korea.

And I have to keep reminding myself who the man in my room is.

Jigaemae.

He's always here when I open my eyes, although I've seen several other people too. Doctors, nurses. Hospital admin who come to have Jigaemae sign paperwork. They inform me that they've moved me to a private room after being discharged from ICU. I was there for almost two days. Her English is good and I understand but I can't respond. My mouth is too dry and there are tubes down my throat. I can't even move my neck to nod.

I fall back asleep.

A doctor I don't recognize is checking my vitals when I peel my eyes open again. A nurse is by her side. They smile at me and say something in Korean. Jigaemae steps forward and tells them English only.

"You're very lucky," the doctor informs me. "If he had found you just two minutes later, you would not have lived."

She does the necessary tests to check my reflexes and responsiveness, ensuring there's no brain damage. Before she leaves, she looks around the room and lets out a low whistle.

"You must be very important to someone. Even with the crowd outside, the flowers and gifts haven't stopped coming. I guess we have more than one VIP here."

The nurse glances back at me and smiles knowingly before they exit.

I signal to Jigaemae that I want to sit up. If I don't force myself now, I'll fall back to sleep. I have no idea how long I've been here or how long I've been out. I notice that the tubes have been removed from my throat and nose so I try to talk. My mouth is like sandpaper and my whole neck hurts. He rushes to pour a cup of water for me, knowing exactly what I need.

"What...happened?"

Jigaemae sighs with relief, his shoulders visibly sagging. How long has he been here? That's when I realize he has on the same clothes from when we went to the market and his eyes are rimmed with dark shadows.

"You..." He gestures to his own mouth, neck, and nose and shakes his head. "No air."

I try to run it all back in my mind. I remember coming home from the market. I remember eating something and immediately feeling itchy. I know I was looking for medicine and then...

Blackness. But that was Saturday. And today is...?

"What day is it?"

"Hwayoil."

Tuesday. It's Tuesday.

"The guys were supposed to get back this morning," I rasp. I don't know what comes over me, but I try to get out of bed, despite being hooked up to IVs. Jigaemae gently pushes me back and shakes his head frantically.

"Home."

"They're home already?"

He nods. "Woryoil. Early, early."

They came back yesterday? Why? They had promo.

"Did they come here? To the hospital?"

Jigaemae shakes his head and pulls out his phone. Pictures and articles dominate every Korean news site, as well as several international outlets. Hundreds of fans have been camping outside the hospital for days with displays of love and support after the guys left Japan unexpectedly and headed straight back to Korea, cutting their concert short. People have concocted wild story after wild story, stating everything from a member needing emergency surgery to a parent dying. Apparently, the company and the guys have been silent, despite all the trending Get Well hashtags.

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