Borahae (BTS reverse harem)✔️

Wishing On A Star

After my grand declaration, I suddenly felt wide awake and energized, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night. All I wanted to do was talk to them, hear their voices, tell them that I was sorry, that I love them, that I had fucked up royally. And hopefully, make them understand why I abandoned them without warning and hope they see that I only wanted to protect them.

However, none of those things happened.

Because, unless you're staff, family, or close personal friends, you don't talk to Bangtan. You don't even breathe on them without fighting your way through a wall of bodyguards who would not hesitate to yeet you into the nearest trash can. And reaching out to them on social media is a joke. There's a reason why there's such an air of mystique surrounding them. They're exposed—sometimes overly so—yet untouchable.

So I do what anyone would do who wanted to contact the biggest group on the planet. I called Big Hit. And naturally, I was at the mercy of the operator. Even my basic Korean wasn't enough to get me on the phone with someone from their team. And I understood exactly why. They get dozens upon dozens of calls a week from adoring fans and nosy reporters who want to get close to the boys. And my name means nothing—absolutely nothing. Because since I was revealed and all my info became public, hundreds, if not thousands, of fake Violet accounts popped up on social media. My photos were stolen to be used as profile pics. There were even some going as far as trying to do interviews as me. It was sick and troubling and just further confirmed why I needed to escape that shit in the first place.

But determination was a stubborn bitch. And I refused to let self-preservation give way to cowardice.

I called. I left messages. I even emailed every department that was published on the company site. I didn't want to say too much; there were a lot of things that could only be discussed in person. But I wanted them to know it was me. And that I desperately needed to see them, especially with their impending enlistment.

I did this every day for a week but still...nothing.

And that has led me here. Grappling with Plan B.

There is one email address I still have stored in my account after back and forth correspondence: Mr. Choi. He was my point of contact for my supposed tutoring job. And while I'm currently not a fan of his family, he may be my only connection to the guys. Only question is, would he help me? When I'm the reason his niece is behind bars and his family is being sued?

The answer is no. He wouldn't. Because after constructing a very thoughtful, polite email, I find that Mr. Choi's email address is no longer in use and my email is promptly returned. And I'm back where I started.

Still, I don't give up.

And wish like hell that they haven't either.

The guys post frequently across all forms of social media as if they can feel the clock ticking towards enlistment and want to leave the fandom with only happy remembrances to sustain them through the long separation. They go on Vlive, and Twitter and Weverse timelines are blessed with selcas and short video clips of them doing cute, everyday things like cooking, eating, bike riding, walking around Han River, gaming, shopping, even laying in bed at home. And naturally, the fandom eats it up as if preparing for famine, because in a lot ways, they are. No Bangtan for two years is a huge risk. But I believe in ARMY. They'll hold it down for them and will be waiting with loving, open arms when they return. And so will I. No matter how long it takes.