Borahae (BTS reverse harem)✔️

ON

*NOTE: If you'd like to listen to the setlist while you read, here's the link for the Spotify playlist. A YouTube playlist with live performances will be posted at the end. I'll also post them on my message board.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/70gHrKuLKqY9uudu4EKCYr?si=jVNj7lBGQpWnzImWSLEwOA

Also, there's a TON of gifs. Why? Because I miss them. 😢

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I have forgotten how to breathe.

I realize it is no longer one of my body's natural functions as I try to desperately will oxygen into my lungs with my wide, unblinking eyes fixed onto the screen of the flatscreen television. I knew this would hurt. I had ample time to prepare myself for it. I had even tried to burn that fact into my brain by reciting a mantra just in case I let it slip my mind.

It's gonna hurt.

It's gonna rip you open and leave you raw and bleeding.

You're going to want to lay down and die when you see them.

But you can't.

You can get through this, Vi.

However, all coherent, logical thought flies out the window the very second the haunting melody begins and the camera pans to each of their devastatingly handsome faces, only resting on them long enough to torture me with their etherealness. They look so...good. So incredibly gorgeous. They've always been the most beautiful men I've ever seen, especially bare-faced and casual. But seeing them like this—perfectly groomed and styled without a single hair out of place—makes my heart clench just a little tighter. I get to watch them through the eyes of a fan. And although their guises are focused, stoic, cold even, I can see why complete strangers are so possessive of them.

Maybe I wasn't possessive enough.

Taehyung raises his green microphone to his sensual lips and begins to croon the first lyrics of Let Me Know, his deep, rich tone as smooth as melted chocolate. The crowd goes absolutely insane, although I'm sure they're equally confounded. The group never begins concerts like this. There's no flashing neon lights or wild bursts of flames or backup dancers performing one of their high-intensity smash hits alongside them. There's just them, belting out the words to a six-year-old song that had resided in my chest from the first time I heard it. A song I had put on my own playlist because I loved the soul in it, despite the melancholy lyrics. And once I found out that Yoongi produced it, it meant that much more to me.

I'd always wondered if there was a story behind the somber melody. Had wondered if there was a specter of a past love that still haunted his memories. And now...I am the ghost. I'm the one who fuels their angst and pensiveness. And while that fact pains me as the song progresses, they sound so fucking amazing that I can't help but sit here with an untouched bowl of popcorn in my lap, completely awestruck and speechless.

There's an intensity to them that I've never witnessed before. An edge that's only birthed from anguish and desperation and passion and just...real life shit. They look incredible from head to toe—that could never change. But something within them has. They've grown during these past few months. Hardened even. They've held and lost something precious and rare. They've grieved. They've raged.

They've had their hearts broken.

Every chord and note is executed flawlessly as if it's effortless for them. Taehyung sings the intro like the words are carved into his heart, the emotion oozing from each note. Then Yoongi comes in and tears me to shreds with his verse, giving us passion and vigor and just...pain. Fuck, I can feel the pain in those lyrics. But I swallow it down. I even manage to get through Jungkook's part in the chorus, despite how badly it stings to hear the exasperation and torment in his angelic voice.