The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 15

Jamie

"You and Noah have slept together!?" Now I'm the one standing up. This is brand new information, and for whatever reason, it bugs me more than the fact that he was making out with some old flame at a party last week.

"You didn't know that either?!" Joel says, totally shocked.

"Noah and I lost our virginity's together, Jame. I thought he would have told you that himself after you met me. Sorry, I thought you knew." She sounds sympathetic again.

"But you knew?!" I ask Joel, my tone accusatory.

"Yeah, Sarah told me months ago. I assumed Noah would have told you, too." He says. "Christ, what else hasn't he told you?"

"Right." I say. My fingers are gripping Patrick's ruined drum sticks real tight right now.

"Are you okay?" Sarah sounds concerned.

"I'm fine." I say, and it's honest.

So this is why Noah was suddenly so specific about us not being exclusive when I talked to him on New Year's Eve. He'd already made out with some other girl. I suspected he was probably trying to give himself some kinda 'get out of jail free' card, but now it's confirmed. And hell, Sarah and Joel know he made out with someone, but what else has he been doing? They haven't spent that much time with him in New York. He's probably been fucking every girl he's talked to, just like he used to.

And I honestly don't care.

But the fact that he lost his virginity to Sarah, who he's still friends with, and he never told me about it? Feels like a bit of a slap in the face. If I had ever done anything with any of the guys, I would have told him about it. Full disclosure, that's how relationships work. Except Noah and I aren't in a relationship. Clearly, we never have been. And I don't think we ever will be. Well, I'm certain we never will be. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders to be honest. And yeah, I'm still gonna tell him about Patrick. But I sure as hell won't feel guilty about it for a second longer.

"Joel, have you heard from Patrick?" I ask him suddenly, randomly, in the midst of a big conversation about me and Noah. I'm asking Joel about Patrick. And I don't care what Joel thinks about it.

"Um, no actually." Joel says cautiously. "He wasn't at the apartment when we swung by. I figured he'd be here."

Joel eyes me suspiciously. What is it with Joel and his suspicious mind? It's driving me fucking crazy. I should just ask him, right here, right now - what exactly do you know about me and Patrick?! Or, what do you think you know? But I don't. Instead, I play the concerned friend. Play? What am I thinking? I am a concerned friend. Just a friend...

"No one's heard from him since he was over here this afternoon, and I saw Pete and Steph looking for him at the beach earlier." I explain. "I am officially worried."

"Ohmigod." Sarah breathes, before turning to Joel. "We should head back to your apartment and see if he's home yet."

"I'm sure he's fine." Joel reasons. "He's probably hooking up with someone."

If Joel thinks I didn't notice him looking at me for a reaction when he said that, he is wrong. But whatever Joel's thinking right now, I don't care. I like the idea of him and Sarah leaving me alone, so I decide to go with that.

"Yeah, you guys head to your apartment, let me know if Patrick's there." I say, practically showing them the door. "I'll stay home incase he shows up here."

Joel looks like he's gonna protest, but Sarah looks keen. Thank god, I just wanna be alone right now.

"Of course we'll let you know if he's there." Sarah says to me. "But - are you gonna be okay? I mean, what we just told you about Noah..."

I shake my head, I don't care about that right now.

"I'm fine Sarah, I swear. You guys go see if Patrick's at home, and I'll let you know if he shows up here."

We're standing beside the garage door now. It could not be more obvious that I'm desperate for them to leave. And Joel knows it. Sarah doesn't though, which is good. I'm being borderline rude right now.

"I'll see you again tomorrow before you leave, yeah?" I say to Sarah, before giving her a hug. I'm not a hugger, but she is. Take note, Joel, I'm a great friend.

"Absolutely, we'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Jamie." Sarah says, giving me one last squeeze. Jesus Christ, just go already.

"Good night, Jame." Joel says without looking at me. "I'll let you know if Patrick's home or not. And you let me know if he shows up here tonight."

Joel resumes looking at me suspiciously. You know what Joel, chill the fuck out. Our friend and bandmate is practically missing, stop being so god damn concerned about whatever it is you think you need to be concerned about.

I assure him I'll let him know if I see or hear from Patrick, then Sarah and him leave.

As I close the door behind them, I am totally relieved. I need to be alone now.

Noah made out with someone. And he hasn't told me about it. I wonder if he plans to tell me. I guess I'll find out on Thursday. I mean, I haven't told him I had sex with someone else. Three times. I plan to tell him on Thursday, so I guess he's maybe thinking the same. But you know what? I do not care.

All I care about right now is Patrick fucking Moore.

I could spend ages wondering why he's gotten under my skin so much all of a sudden. I could spend hours thinking about what's happened between us over the past few days. I could overanalyze the shit out of all the things he told me. But I decide against that.

Right now, I just wanna know that he's okay. I want him to show up here. I want him to grin at me and pull his lip ring between his teeth and put his hands on my waist and pull me into him and tell me he's sorry he hasn't been in touch. I want him to tell me he was so cut up by what Jay and Erin said about Noah that he just needed to get away and be alone for a while.

I want that to be the reason he's gone off the fucking grid. I hope it is, anyway.

I march up to my bedroom and check my phone. He still hasn't replied to my messages, and I am officially worried. What the hell is he doing? Is he hooking up? It's entirely possible. Any other day, it would be probable. But after what's happened between us... I just don't think he would do that tonight. Would he?

I turn my TV on, and press play on When Harry Met Sally. I am so fucking determined to watch this entire movie. I need to watch the New Year's Eve part. I need to hear Harry say those words to Sally. It's not just because it's New Year's Eve. I need to know how this will make me feel. Even though I'm pretty sure I already know.

I settle down on my bed, still fully clothed, and Benji snuggles down beside me. My eyes are fucking glued to the TV screen. I need to watch this, I just need to.

And I do. I watch as Harry and Sally go through years of friendship and relationships with other people, only to finally realise that they were it for each other all along. I watch as Harry rushes over to Sally's New Year's Eve party to pour his heart out to her. And this is the part I've been dreading. But I need to watch it. I need to.

I'm leaning forward a little, absentmindedly petting Benji with one hand, my attention firmly fixed on Harry as he begins making his big romantic speech to Sally at the NYE party. Here we go. This is it.

Then suddenly, I hear a familiar voice speaking from behind me.

"Well, you're nothing if not predictable."