The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 44

Jamie

This party fucking sucks. Well, it doesn't really suck. I just don't wanna be here. And the more I drink the more I think I should really leave. I don't wanna risk saying something that I'll probably regret later. But instead of leaving, I decide to stop drinking. I have had enough alcohol. So I switch to water.

"You're drinking water now?" Madison asks me in disgust when she notices. "That is, like, so lame."

"Yeah, well, so are you." I wink at her, so that she thinks I'm joking, then I move along.

"Jamie, we're thinking of heading over to the Grill - you in?" Zach asks me as I approach him and Kim.

"Um, I don't know." I answer. I wasn't expecting an actual night out tonight. But this may work to my advantage - if they all go out, I'll just go home.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Kim smiles at me encouragingly.

"We don't need to go, we can stay here if you want?" Noah is beside me now. And I know what he's getting at. If everyone else leaves, we can stay behind and talk. And I guess we should.

So I agree. "Sure."

Kim narrows her eyes at me, and Zach raises his eyebrows at Noah. Clearly, they're unsure about this. But Noah and I need to talk. So this is a good thing. Maybe the knot in my stomach will loosen off a little after I finally say what I need to say to him.

"Everyone ready?" Will calls out to the group while carelessly tossing his empty cup into the sink. Nice.

"Jamie and I are gonna stay here and clean up your mess." Noah tells him, pulling the discarded cup out of the sink and tossing it into the trash. Will just laughs at this and shrugs his shoulders like my bad.

"Are you sure, Jamie?" Aubrey looks a little concerned, so I smile and nod at her.

"Yeah, you guys go out, have fun, okay?" I continue smiling. I need to keep up this happy façade or Aubrey might try to stay behind with me.

She looks dubious, but she agrees to go out with the others. So her, John, Kim, Zach, Madison and Will head out to the Grill, leaving Noah and I behind to clean up.

As soon as they're out the front door, I begin picking up cups and empty beer bottles, but Noah stops me almost instantly.

"That can wait, it's hardly a huge mess." I look around. He's right, there are only a few cups and bottles laying around, some half eaten bags of chips and a couple of opened dip jars. It'll only take minutes to clean this place up.

"So, can you tell me what's bugging you so much tonight?" He asks me, sitting down on the sofa. I sit down next to him and face him, we need to do this properly.

"Yes, but I think you already know." I take a deep breath as he reaches out and takes both of my hands into his. He's trying to comfort me, but I can't let him do this. "Noah, don't."

"You're breaking up with me, right?" His eyes aren't meeting mine, and he's let go of my hands. He looks so bummed, and I feel awful.

"Well, not exactly, we aren't a couple..." I remind him. "And we're not gonna be a couple, because... I've realised I don't feel how I need to feel. So, I don't wanna keep putting you through this -"

He cuts me off, grabbing my hands again. I look down at our hands resting in my lap, then back up at his eyes. He's looking at me now, and his eyes look desperate.

"I know I've made a lot of mistakes. I've fucked up big time, more than once, but we can get past it. I know we can. We just need to try. Why don't you wanna try anymore?"