The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 61 (Patrick)

Patrick

"Yeah, well I mean, maybe drumming isn't your forte. You don't know unless you try. I haven't tried to drum much myself, because I'm a guitarist and I've known that for years. You ever wanna try guitar? I'd be happy to help."

I'm a little stunned. Not only because Jay actually asked if he could come to my drum class with me tonight, but because he actually came and now he's offering guitar lessons to one of the kids, Jason. Talk about a fucking drastic turn around. The other week he was sulking off to New York because of my decision to cool off from the band and teach drum. And now, here he is. Ready and willing to steal Jason away from my class and take him to the dark side: guitar.

"I'd be an awesome guitarist." Jason replies, before getting up from behind the drum kit completely, dropping to his knees and violently playing air guitar. Jay and the other kids laugh, and I find myself smiling.

"He is an awesome guitarist." I point out, cocking my head towards Jay. "If you wanna give guitar a shot, take him up on that offer, dude."

"For sure." Jay agrees. "Jamie might help out too, you know, once she calms down with you."

I swallow and bite down on my lip, I'm not commenting on anything involving Jamie. It's been hard enough hanging with Jay without her. He talks about her all the fucking time - almost as much as he talks about Erin. We go over to her house all the time too, for Benji. She's in Scotland getting a break from me, but I just can't get a break from her.

I'm not entirely sure I want to. But that's another issue.

After the drum class, Jay suggests going to the Grill. I'm a little hesitant about this, because it's Thursday night - Open Mic night. People might ask us why we aren't on the bill.

And they do. A fucking lot of people do. It makes me feel uneasy, but Jay handles it well. He tells them we're taking some time out to write new music (a complete lie, we haven't written a new song since last summer) but everyone seems to buy this as a valid excuse for why we aren't performing, so it's fine.

But no, the worst part about this evening is the fact that all of Jamie's friends are here. Aubrey, Kim, John, Zach. And fucking Noah. I haven't talked to any of them, but Jay has. Aubrey asked him how Jamie's liking Scotland. I tried to act casual, like I wasn't interested in the answer to this. But it turns out Jay hasn't actually heard from her much. He did mention a photo she posted on Instagram though, so I immediately pulled my phone out (casually) to check. And when I saw the post, I felt as though someone had shoved a metal pole through my fucking chest.

She went to the zoo. And she posted a picture of three penguins. A male, a female and their chick. Huddled together, looking every bit like a happy family. But my attention was focused more on the small pile of rocks right next to them. Pebbles. And the worst part? Jamie's caption. One hashtag in particular. #youremypenguin

That's not a coincidence. She could not have possibly written that without thinking about me. Surely? Surely to fuck!

I don't wanna overthink it. I can't. I just can't. She's in Scotland getting distance from me, and Noah is here. I scowl at him from across the bar. He's talking to Zach, his usual unhappy expression plastered across his face. Fuck, it's not illegal to smile every now and again. I wonder if Noah likes penguins. Somehow, I know he doesn't. He probably doesn't have an opinion on them as such. And good. It's our thing. Mine and Jamie's. Fuck him.

I 'like' her Instagram post without hesitation (it already has over 50 'likes', loads of them from dudes, which pisses me off - but what can I do?) because I would hate myself for not liking this post. I had to. I just had to. I stop myself from commenting on the post. The love heart emoji springs to mind, but fuck. I cannot do that. No. I put my phone back in my pocket and continue acting normal. Well, I do move on from beer to Jack. I'm allowed this one vice tonight.