The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 73

Jamie

"Wait... what? Is that - ?" I'm stuttering, and I know I sound like I'm about to cry, but I'm just so confused.

"You gave this back to me because you thought it was never meant for you." He explains. His voice is still so even, how is he so composed right now and I feel like I'm about to collapse from the sheer strain of carrying my own weight? "But it is meant for you. It always was."

He's looking me right in the eye, and I think my mouth is hanging open right now. I close it quickly and swallow hard, before looking back down at the pebble he's holding out in front of me. I can't believe he kept it. I can't believe I gave it back to him in the first place. That must have really been a kick in the balls for him. Christ, why have I been such an idiot all this time? All these years, wasted. I could have realised what was going on when he gave me that stupid pebble in the first place that day at the zoo. I could have taken if from him then, and that would have been it. Me and Patrick, and none of the shit in between. I need to make up for that now, I need to let him know exactly how I feel about him.

But - I'm still in a complete state of shock, and I can feel the tears building now. I'm afraid that if I speak again I'm gonna lose control of my emotions and I am gonna cry like a fucking baby in front of him. God. I reach out and take the pebble from him, because he's right, it is mine. And I wanna keep it. But I need to fucking communicate with him verbally now too. I clear my throat, trying to compose myself so that I can talk, but he doesn't give me the chance.

"Jamie Hawkins, you're my penguin. I have no interest whatsoever in any other girl. That pebble is yours, and this is the lamest thing I am ever gonna say, but if I can't say it right now, when can I? My heart is yours. After all this time, always."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. And I can't stop the tears from spilling over and streaming down my cheeks now. I'm clutching on to my pebble, trying so fucking hard to not completely lose it.

He still looks confident and sure of himself. He's obviously put a lot of thought into this. And it's paid off. He's just said everything I could have ever wanted to hear him say, perfectly. He gave me my pebble back, he called me his penguin (not his lobster), he told me there's nothing between him and Amanda, and he said "My heart is yours. After all this time, always." Quoting our favourite Paramore song (the only song the two of us have ever 'performed' without Jay and Joel) and quoting my favourite line from the Harry Potter books. Perfect.

"Hey, don't cry." He furrows his brows and looks concerned now. He reaches forward like he wants to give me a hug and comfort me, but he stops himself. I guess he can't quite decide how I'm reacting to him showing up here, or the pebble gesture, or everything he's just said to me. I need to let him know.

"Are...are you sure?" I ask, sounding like a complete blithering, crying mess.

He smiles at me, that gorgeous, perfect smile, and nods his head a couple of times. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life."

For some reason, hearing him say this just makes me cry harder. Thank god I didn't put make up on today. With shaky hands and a firm grip on my pebble, I wipe some of the tears off of my face. This doesn't feel real. I didn't think I'd ever experience something like this. It's overwhelming.

"Come on, stop." He says kindly, before giving in and pulling me into a hug. And suddenly, I feel home. I bury my face into his chest as he runs a hand through my hair and I try to get my tears under control. I lean back a little in his arms and look up at him.

"But, Amanda..." I start, shakily.

"Shes a friend, that's all." He tells me. "I told her how I feel about you weeks ago, she's been cool."