The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 58

Jamie

24 hours from now, I will be in Scotland. I’ll be hundreds of miles away and I won’t have to risk bumping into him. I won’t have to look at him, talk to him, listen to other people talk about him. None of it.

Okay, so I can’t promise I won’t think about him, but I’m hoping that spending time with family in Scotland and seeing the sights in Edinburgh will be enough to take my mind off of him for a few days at least.

Because you know what? I am fucking done with Patrick Moore.

Seriously, the way I feel right now, I might be the one who ends up quitting the band. Well, no, I would never do that to Jay and Joel. But I can honestly say that if Patrick did decide to quit, I would be a little relieved.

Except I wouldn’t. I’d be devastated. I just don’t see how the hell The Middle can go on with things between Patrick and me so completely fucked up now.

When I got home earlier tonight (you know, after screwing him in that boat house and storming home in the pouring rain) I shoved my wet clothes into the laundry basket, stormed upstairs, threw on some pyjamas and got straight into bed. And I’ve been laying here, with Benji snoring happily beside me, ever since. Okay, it’s only been a couple of hours, but it’s after midnight now and I just can’t switch off. I’ll have plenty of time to catch up on sleep on the plane tomorrow though, it’s fine.

I haven’t even cried over everything that went down tonight. Because I only have myself to blame. I shouldn’t have kissed him, never mind anything else. I’m a terrible human being and I deserve to go to hell. I almost feel like I should tell Amanda. But I wont, that’s on Patrick, not me.

Such a fucking mess. Such. A. Fucking. Mess.

***

The next morning and I’m all packed and ready to go. Benji has been fed and walked, he’ll be fine while Jay takes me to the airport. And Jay's pretty much moving in here until I get home, so Benji will be taken care of. I fully plan on telling Jay that my talk with Patrick didn’t go so well, and I’d appreciate if he doesn’t let him come around my house while I’m gone. Petty, I know. I just don’t want him touching my stuff or eating my food or drinking my coffee or having fucking anything to do with me right now. Ugh. I’m still mad. Hopefully once I’m out of the country I’ll cool off a little.

I’m all packed, sitting in the kitchen waiting for Jay. The weather isn’t great today, I think it’s gonna rain soon actually, or I would have shoved my suitcase out front and waited for him there. I feel a little nervous now. I dont really know why. My flight isn’t for another 3 hours, I have plenty of time. But sitting here in silence just waiting. It’s too much time alone with my thoughts...

But I’m not thinking about Patrick. I’m not. And I’m definitely not thinking about how Joel and Jay have actually spoken in our group chat this morning. They both told me to have a good trip. Joel’s going off to New York today too, so I told him to have fun and say hi to Sarah for me. Patrick hasn’t said a word. He hasn’t even read the messages. But I'm not thinking about that.

I walk out of the kitchen and check the window by the front door for like the tenth time, and this time Jay is actually pulling into my driveway. Thank god, I cannot wait to get the hell out of here.
I open the front door and lift my suitcase out onto the porch, as Benji runs down to greet Jay.

“I'll get that!” Jay calls over to me, “You'll need to haul it around the airports on your own, save your energy for that.”

He smiles at me as he walks over from his car. He’s wearing a beanie today, I suspect to try and hide the fact that he’s a little overdue for a haircut. His blonde hair looks cute though, falling over his eyes this way. I pull my phone out and snap a quick candid picture of him to send to Erin, but he notices.