The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 54

Jamie

‘And now the day bleeds, into nightfall, and you’re not here, to get me through it all.’

Damn, I really do like this Lewis Capaldi guy. I’ve pretty much been listening to him on repeat since Lori told me about him. Literally all of his songs are about heartbreak. But they’re so fucking good, and his voice is amazing. And I guess those songs fit in pretty well with my current circumstances.

‘I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.’

How fitting. I sigh and skip to the next song, this one is hitting a little too close to home for my liking right now. The next song is called ‘Bruises’.

‘Counting days, counting days, since my love up and got lost on me.’

Jesus.

‘And every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me.’

If I didn’t like you so much, I would totally not be listening to your music right now, Lewis. I wonder how Friday is gonna go, standing there listening to these songs live. My emotions are just a little bit scattered right now. But I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m still excited about it.

I roll over onto my side, pushing Benji off of my bed so that I can get up. It’s 8pm, and after the boring Tuesday I had at school, I could literally just fall asleep right now. But I can’t, because I’m heading out to talk to Patrick soon. I am. I’m not backing down, I’m gonna do it.

I have it all planned out; he’s at the youth centre right now (I know this because I asked Joel) so I’m gonna go over there and talk to him when his drum class is done. I think it’s a good plan. Public place, other people hanging around, no raised voices, no emotional outbursts. It’s gonna work. Everything is gonna work out. It is.

I head downstairs and flick the kettle on. I feel so tired, I definitely need coffee if I’m gonna have the energy to do this. I walk over to the patio doors and open them for Benji. He trots outside as I flick the outside light switch on, and I nearly have a fucking heart attack when the lights come on and illuminate Jay sitting on the patio steps smoking a cigarette.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I yell at him, clutching at my chest to try and calm down my hammering heartbeat.

“Smoking.” He says casually, flicking some ash from the end of his cigarette. “Obviously, I was gonna come in after.” 

“You could have told me you were here.”

“I just got here, relax, will you?” He stands up and walks over to the trash can. “So, how are you?”

“Um, I’m good.” Weird question, we don’t usually exchange such pleasantries. We usually just launch right into whatever it is we wanna talk about it. “How are you…?”

“Been better, but good.” He stubs out his cigarette and tosses the butt into the trash. “Heard from Joel or Patrick today?”

“Not really, no. You?” We head back into the kitchen as we talk.

“'Not really' as in not at all, or ‘not really’ as in not much?” He really wants to know if I’ve talked to them.

“I talked to Joel for a bit when I got home from school, that’s it.” I clarify, walking over to the kettle.

“Right.” He says quietly. “I don’t like not using our group chat. It’s weird.”

I sigh as I take out my Friends mug. “I don’t like it either, Jay.”