Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Prank War: Scene 4

(Ren enters and stands on podium)

Ren: Ladies and gentlemen! I have an announcement to make! Someone got me messed up!

(Various Hermits enter)

False (whispering to Grian:) Oh no. This is bad. We've killed Ren! Actually, no, YOU'VE killed Ren!

Grian: Me?

False: YOU'RE the one who left the trap up. I said we should've took it down.

Grian: But you said it was okay!

False: Yeah, when I thought he was guilty!

Ren: Gather 'round, gather 'round, everybody. Something terrible has happened. I have been innocently MURDERED!

(All Hermits gasp, except for Grian and False)

Ren: Someone sent me on a roller coaster to my death. And I have no idea why they did it. (slams fist on the podium) I take this particular prank, whoever did it, as an escalation of the prankage that is currently going around the server. Thank you for listening.

(Ren gets off the podium. The Hermits chatter among themselves)

Iskall (to Ren:) I mean, Scar builds roller coasters. But not like this...

Grian (butting in:) It wasn't me! It was the man with the weird accent! (nudges Iskall with elbow)

Iskall: Doc?

Ren (to himself:) Hmmm, that's oddly suspicious of you, Grian. Oddly suspicious... (calling) Hey, Doc, Impulse. Come here.

(DOCM77 and IMPULSESV cross to Ren as other hermits begin exiting)

Ren: So, boys, we have a problem.

Doc: Yeah, there's been some weird stuff going around the server. What've been up to, man?

Ren: Well, Doc, the irony is, I've done nothing! The Ren-Diggity-Dog is innocent!

Impulse: What?

Ren: Let me explain. Iskall built the giant pooping Grian on False's base. And he left a sign saying the usual, "haha, I pranked you False, from Iskall." But then Cleo came along and changed Iskall's signs to say that I built the pooping Grian!

Impulse: What?! Why would she do that to you?

Ren: The thing is, I don't have an answer to that question. And as you know, someone retaliated and built a hideous roller coaster that ended with me dying in lava. That someone left a couple signs in a really bad Swedish accent. I doubt it's Iskall himself. And although I'm really, really confused, what I do know is that the wonderful ZombieCleo is responsible for whatever shenanigans have started. Because of her, I've been sucked in some sort of... prank war!

Doc: I'm concerned for you, Ren. You're going on holiday soon! You can't deal with that sort of stress on holiday.

Ren: (to Doc) To my fellow stock exchange partner. (to Impulse) And to our newest partner, we have to get our heads together. We have to show the Hermitcraft server that WE are the three pranketeers of the server! And I believe that the wonderful ZombieCleo should be our first victim! In response to changing the sign and blaming me, the pacifist of the server! You two know me! I never prank anybody! I'm just chill!

Impulse: Yeah! Cleo was the one who started it, obviously.

Ren: Thanks for being on my side. What about you, Doc?