Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Civil War: Scene 3

(Gloomy atmosphere. Sound of rain in background. Poultry Man is in a brown hat and trench coat)

Poultry Man: January 5th, 2019. Happy new years, hermits. The server has descended into chaos. A series of events has led to the creation of two factions. Both are under the allusion that this war has meaning. A contingency plan to prevent a prank war was futile. No matter how many eggs were thrown, they just kept pranking. It just kept... egg-scalating. Now the two sides have established headquarters on the island to settle their differences. A ceasefire has been called while they prepare for what is to come. There's little I can do for this server. I will have to go into hiding until this is all over. I have no choice but to blend in with normal hermit society. Who knows when this feud will truly begin. Until this thing is over, no one is safe.

(Thunder claps. Iskall appears and sits in a fancy suit in one of three chairs. To the side of him is a chair for Grian and in front of him is a chair for Mumbo. He waits. The faint sound of rain continues but fades away throughout the scene)

Poultry Man: I wish I was yolking. But I'm not. This is Poultry Man, end of transmission.

(Thunder claps. Poultry Man disappears into darkness)

(Grian enters in a fancy suit and sits in his chair)

Grian: Is Mumbo here yet?

Iskall: Not yet. He said he'll be here soon. 

(Mumbo enters)

Mumbo: So you called me over...

Grian: Sit in the chair, Mumbo. Let's have a chat.

Mumbo: This doesn't seem good. Why are you two dressed so fancily?

Grian: 'Dressed so fancily'?! Says the person who always wears a tux-

Mumbo: Alright, alright. I get it. So, why are you two here?

Iskall: So, Mumbo, have you noticed the pranks going around the server lately?

Mumbo: I have.

Grian: There's kinda, y'know, a war going on right now. The majority of the server has split into two sides. One called the G-Team, which me and Iskall are on, and the other called Team Star. Me and Iskall are on the G-Team because we, and all of the other members, have G's in our names.

Mumbo: I'm assuming you want me to join the G-Team.

Grian: No, because that's what you and everyone else expects you to do. But no, we want you to NOT join the G-Team. We want you... (looks around) to be a spy. A mole. The G-Team's man on the inside.

Mumbo: Wait, you want me to be a mole? Espionage? You're bringing espionage into this war?

Grian: It's perfect! 'Espionage' has a G in it!

Iskall: You need to make the Star team believe that you've joined their team. You have a perfectly good reason to. I mean, we pulled that AFK prank on you.

Mumbo: So, I'm officially joining the Civil War?

Grian: Why not? It'll be fun.

Iskall (to Grian:) You're gonna regret saying that.

Grian: I will.

Mumbo: So (starting to exit) I guess I'm off to do some mole duties-

Grian: No! You have to WAIT until they invite you! You can't just walk into their base and say "hey guys I'm a mole."

Iskall: Grian, I think this is a mistake.