Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Prank War: Scene 12

(Joe waits for Grian. Grian enters)

Joe: Howdy, Grian.

Grian: I don't believe we've properly met before. Joe Hills, right? You've been on the server since season one?

Joe: Sounds about right.

Grian: So... am I right in assuming that you wrote me some sort of novel and left a bit of lava on my base?

Joe: Your assumptions are correct. Y'know, Grian, let me give you a secret. When I talked to Cleo the other day about her problems with Impulse, I said 'Cleo, we should go talk to Impulse when we have a concern' and she said 'no, we need to communicate through pranks.' And well, that's not how I normally want to tell someone that we have a miscommunication. But Cleo seemed too passionate and direct about it that I decided to give it a try.

Grian: I think there's definitely been some sort of miscommunication here. So, this is a retaliation because I swooped in and made your literature prank a lethal literature prank?

Joe: It's not a literature prank as much as an ethics lesson if you were to have read the signs.

Grian: So you were trying to literally teach him a lesson?

Joe: One of them was a lesson about not murdering people. And by adding a murder element, that kinda defeats the purpose. Since you decided to add murder to a prank with signs and lava, I decided to add something to your base with signs and lava. Go full circle!

Grian: Well... I don't know if I can let this slide, Joe. This is old school griefing; pouring lava on someone's base! I mean... (takes out sword) the only reasonable thing to do now is to-

(Joe takes out a Grian I.O.U. and shoves it in Grian's face while dramatically looking away)

Grian: What's this?

Joe: Are you illiterate?

Grian: No... (tries to tilt head) ... you're kinda... holding it upside down-

(Joe, flustered, fixes the paper)

Grian: Oh! A Grian I.O.U.?

Joe: You paid with it when buying paper from my wishing well a few months ago.

Grian: I never would have imagined an I.O.U coming back to bite me! What do you want me to do?

Joe: I thought maybe we can try to overlook this miscommunication. I want you to owe me a truce. I want you to owe me forgiveness and understanding. And then we can call it a day.

Grian: Agreed.

(They shake hands)

Grian: Now, Joe, if you're going to get involved in all these shenanigans -the Hermitcraft feud, the Hermitcraft scuffle, the Hermitcraft prank war, whatever it's being called- you do know that there's going to be a lot of lethal pranks.

Joe: I thought about that. But one of the things that upset me in your attempted murder outside our morality school is that it was in a school zone. I don't know if you have those in the UK but if you commit a crime in 300 feet of an elementary school in the US then-

Grian: How is it a school zone?

Joe: Because there's a schoo-

Grian: I know that, but why we got a school zone in Hermitcraft?

Joe: Because we were trying to teach Impulse a lesson.

Grian: Well how was I supposed to know that? There weren't any signs.

Joe: There was literally a sign next to where you put the lava that says 'We've taught you all we can. Now find your own way home.'

Grian: Ah, well, I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't read any signs.

Joe: It's okay. We're both adults and I believe we can move forward. I know you're the new guy on the server and you don't need anyone throwing lava on your base, so I'll try to throw lava over someone else's base next time. 

Grian: Let's go burn the I.O.U and call it friends. Cause nothing says friends like burning a piece of paper. 

(Grian and Joe exit)