Cub: Woo! I gotta say, Mr. GoodTimes, we've been absolutely rolling in the blue!
Scar: We sold Impulse that potion cannon, we sold those rockets to Grian, we sold so much TNT that I can't even keep track!
Cub: I'm using some of the money to implement more drones on the battlefield. We gotta get the best point-of-views. The one hidden inside the G-team is currently displaying one of their cats.
Scar: Ah, the three best things in life all coming together! Cats, diamonds, and not dying!
(In the G-Team base. Joe enters. He feeds the G-Team's cat)
Joe (to audience:) (picking up ConCorp drone) Core concept! ConCorp Core Concept, if you want the extra assonance and alliteration. ConCorp wants to profit off the war by broadcasting the battles and talking over them like they're sports commentators. That's okay, but to sneak a drone inside the G-Team's base to spy on us? Now that's extremely shameless of them. Not like the Convex has ever demonstrated being bound to moral compasses in the first place, but still.
So, while all the other Hermits are fretting about the other team, I shall do my part and take down this ConCorp drone. To defeat the true evil of this war, capitalists. (takes drone) With my elite hacking skills, I've taken the footage from the past hour and put it on loop. So, footage of me feeding this cute little kitty will play for hours upon hours. Cub will think "Wow, Joe's such a good pet owner! The G-Team is being responsible and making sure their cats don't starve." When in actuality, cats in Minecraft don't get hungry. I've placed this drone in my secret laboratory in the G-Team base where no one-
Stress: (entering) 'Ello Joe!
Joe (startled:) Oh!
Stress: Talking to yourself again? I'm just looking around seeing if anyone has any leads. I'm working on my flag defense.
Joe: I don't have any leads, so can you please-
Stress: Oooo. Why do you have a ConCorp drone?
Joe: Cause they were spying on us. Now can you please-
Stress: Ah! (picking up lead in a chest) Found one! Thanks, Joe!
(Stress exits)
(Joe exits)
(Out in the battlefield. Stress enters)
Stress (to Cub:) Pssst, Cub.
Cub: Yes, Stress?
Stress: Only you can do this thing for me. You know that geezer that shoots out vexes in the mansions, yeah? I want one of them for my flag defense room.
Cub: Evoker. They're called evokers. I can help you under one condition.
Stress: What is it? I got two beacons. Is that enough?
Cub: How about the 2 beacons, and the diamond blocks that go under them? I think that's fair.
Stress: You're joking!
Cub: Alright, alright, alright. How about I cut you a deal. The G-Team has been kind to ConCorp in the past. But recently, there's been a misunderstanding between me and Joe Hills, and a drone's been taken down and hacked. If you can get that drone back to us, then we have a deal.
Stress: Deal! I actually know where it is. Come!
(Stress leads Cub to drone)
Stress (reading:) 'Drone video feed hijack computer: Currently playing cat videos on loop.'
Cub: Me and Scar watched the cat videos. They were pretty nice cat videos.
(Stress takes the drone and offers it to Cub)
Stress: For you. Deal complete?
Cub: Once I get this baby up in the air, I'll get an evoker for you.
Stress: Thanks, Cub.
(Cub and Stress exit)
YOU ARE READING
Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay
FanfictionAre you confused about the events of the Hermitcraft 6 Prank War/Civil War? Do you wish the whole story was in one digestible form? Do you also appreciate theatrical art? Well, we at ConCorp© are proud to reveal our newest project "Hermitcraft Prank...
