Chasing Yoongi | M.YG x Reader FF

Chapter 7: Slipping Deeper....

One Month Later

Yoongi POV:

Fall was in full swing now as the new week started, and it was getting close to the end of October. Y/N and I had gotten into a comfortable rhythm of platonic pleasantries here and there at school, but it never went deeper than that. I was careful to keep my distance, even if I desired her with a fierceness 24/7, whether I was around her or not. In class I could sense her presence, and having to sit next to her in 1st period was fucking torture day in and day out. I could see her steal glances at me once in a while, and I know she felt it too, even if she kept her distance from me as well.

I felt like an asshole for giving her a shit reason for why we couldn't be closer, but maybe someday she would understand. I would have to be comfortable enough to open up and tell her about some of things that happened to me in the past with girls as well as shit with my dad. I hate having major trust issues but it is what it is. I do better when I'm on my own. No muss no fuss, as they say.

It was Thursday now, and we were in the library after school working on our project. I had written music for most of the lyrics, and we argued over the tempo. She wanted a faster song and I wanted it to be slower, something akin to a love letter. When one writes a letter of love they take their time finding the right words, the ink moving slowly over the page as the affection and passion pours out into sentences. Sometimes the words can create a slow build, foreplay if you will, that when wrapped up in the end creates a crescendo of sorts that is full of raw emotion that no pop song can exude. She wasn't getting it, no matter how I tried to explain it.

I was frustrated. We were in one of the rooms in the library, glaring at each other from across the small wooden table. Sheet music was strewn all over the table, and Y/N impatiently tapped her foot while pointing at herself.

"I WROTE this song, Yoongi. I know how I want it to go. It's about getting the balls to say what you want to say to the person you love – finally. It's a euphoric feeling to be able to let go – to get out everything you want to say to them even if you are essentially risking everything. I don't want just a slow, sweet piano sound. I want passion," Y/N said, almost shouting.

"What the FUCK do you know about passion, Y/N. You're a virgin. How many men have you been with? How many boyfriends have you even had to even understand passion?!" I shouted back at her.

The upper walls of the room we were in were made of a super thick plexiglass and while they were able to muffle quite a lot, they weren't able to withstand shouting. I started to see people slowly stopping and staring in our direction, and so I sat in a chair, taking deep breaths to came down. Y/N stood her ground, obviously even more upset about what I had just said to her, but luckily she didn't shout at me again. I leaned back in the chair and interlaced my fingers with my elbows on the arms of the chair and stared her down, matching her glare. I could feel my breath pushing heavily through my clenched teeth. I didn't like being this mad at her, or shouting at her. This worked up breathless feeling I had I only wanted to have under one circumstance, when I was pleasuring her with my mouth, making her moan my name.

"I've...I've never been with anybody like that. I don't have to have tons of sex with different guys in order to know what passion is anyway. When I wrote this, I was feeling emotions I didn't know what to do with, for someone that now I know wasn't worth my time. At THAT time though, I wanted my ex back in my life and I felt that I really did love him and I missed my chance with him somehow. So I channeled that feeling into a song. Passion is a feeling that can be created in many ways, not just through sex," Y/N said, her voice much lower now, eyes cast down at the table in front of her.