Hetalia Ghoul

Memory

- Gilbert's POV -

"Beilschimdt... Beilschimdt..."

I kept repeating the last name. My last name. I couldn't believe I remember that. It was such an important clue yet I had no idea where to go from it.

"It's German, obviously," I tried to focus as I was laying on my bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, "An awesome last name,"

I was about to do some research, but I decided to wait until I meet up with Matthew again. He was a good companion. And he's actually smart and could help me and guide me through the right direction. And I missed him.

Until I see him again, I write down all my thoughts in I guess what one calls a "Diary". It's more like an awesome journal documenting everything. It's to keep my thoughts and memories recorded.

I haven't seen Matthew lately. He didn't want to talk much about it, but he mentioned his father being stuck home and his best friend being depressed.

But it's been hard going out to see him. With more kids getting stuffed here, Elizabetha made it clear that we are not to make it obvious that more than four people live here. That means trying not to go out and in as much. Even Feliciano hadn't gone out with his boyfriend in a while.

Maybe Lovino was right about moving out. The house is getting crowded now.

And the weird thing is the newcomers. Lily, Raivis, even Kiku are giving me bad memories. I don't know how they are all connected though but every time I see them, I get an odd feeling, especially Lily. I think it may be about how I became half ghoul.

I had a bad feeling about Lily since the beginning. None of the others see it too. I avoid her most of the time. But when I think too deeply about it, all I see is her, behaving like a savage animal looking for prey. I hate to say it, but I'm afraid of her. It's as if she has attacked me before. But she pretends to not know me. But I see her glance at me sometimes. I know she knows me. And whether I like it or not, I'm going to have to talk to her. She can be the key to my past.

And then Raivis came along. When Elizabetha introduced us to him, I was neutral to the boy. But then, I started to get the same chilling feeling I had towards Lily. And my suspicion was confirmed as I started to realize that the two would spend more time together. He obviously knows her. The two are connected in some way. Now it seems like they both just observe me and talk about me behind my back. I don't have any actually evidence though. Roderich already thinks I'm crazy because of my fear of Lily. I need to see what's up with those kids.

The only one that doesn't bother me as much is Kiku. I trust Kiku. I never had any bad feelings about him since Feliciano and Lovino took me to meet him. He was a friend. But now, he looks extremely sad and pained and paranoid. He mostly stays in his room. He didn't even meet Lily or Raivis. Feliciano didn't tell me about what happened. Only that he was planning to leave soon.

Yet I have a feeling that somehow the three where connected in some way to my past. And now is the best time to find out.

I got up and got out of my room. I stretched before looking around the empty hallway. I know Feliciano, Elizabetha, and Roderich were working downstairs. I slowly made my way to Lily's room. With every step I took, I felt the fear deepen. Why am I so scared of a little girl? The memory of her standing in front of me appeared again. Her red eye glowed. Giant limbs sprouted from her back as she slowly walked towards me. And then, I could hear a faint voice in the distance.

"One..."

I stopped walking. I froze in place. It was whispers coming from all around me. I can't recognize the voice. They're too many.

"Nine..."

I started to shiver.

"One..."

My breathing got faster. I started to panic.

"Eight"

I stumble to the floor, struggling to breathe. My vision goes dark. I hear a sharp ringing.

"Gilbert?" A familiar voice said and I was brought back to consciousness. I shake my head, the ringing gradually lowered and I closed my eyes tightly and slowly blinked rapidly, trying to regain my sight. I look down, I was on the hallway floor, not in whatever the hell that dark place I envisioned was. I coughed, trying to breathe normally again. I looked up and saw Kiku from across me. He was just getting out of his room. He looks tired, as if he hasn't slept in a while.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I looked around the hallway and then shook my head, "I don't even know anymore. These visions and memories just get more vivid and painful,"

"Memories?" Kiku knelt down besides me. He looked genuinely concerned for me.

"I-I'm in a dark room. In a cage sometimes," I stammered, already feeling like I'm losing control of my breathing. But I needed to process. I've kept the really bad memories to myself, not wanting to worry others. But now, I feel like I'm getting lost in my own imagination. I need to say it out loud, "But I'm alone. But I hear voices. They tell me to fight. Fight back. Or I'll die. A-and they say a phrase and it makes me lose sense of myself. They never finish it though. But I feel like I can't control myself-"

"Gilbert" he faced me, "Breathe"

I gulped and focused like he told me. Once I started to feel in peace, he got out and extended his hand to help me. He then guided me to his room and closed the door behind me. He let me calm down fully before he spoke quietly, "Do you... Do you know of a doctor. Doctor Vash Zwingli?"

I shook my head and I winced in pain, feeling a headache form like it usually did when I have the visions, "W-wait. It's familiar. But I've never heard that name before,"

"Your memories... seem familiar to my past," Kiku's eyes widened, "Gilbert... I'm afraid that you've been through what had happened to me,"

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A/N:

Sorry for a short update!

Some answers are coming though!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I appreciate all the comments and votes and I hope to see ya next update!