Sorry

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- Hercules' POV -

"Oh, hello Hercules!" I was greeted by Feliciano as he was exiting the coffee shop. It's been weeks since the incident with Alfred and I haven't been able to get in communication with Kiku since he abandoned his cellphone to destroy all contact with the Dove. So I decided to stop by. Kiku said he was going to leave the city, but hasn't really set his mind to it. I could tell.

"Hi," I replied quietly.

"I was about to close the shop, but I'm guessing you're here to see Kiku, right?"

I nodded.

"He's upstairs, third room to the left," He let me in and then locked the door and he went on his way. I followed his directions and knocked.

"Who is it?" I heard his voice, and it instantly lightened my mood.

"It's me,"

He opened the door slightly and peeked out. To my surprise, he actually smiled, "Come in,"

I did as he told and he closed the door behind us, "I was scared I would come here and you would be gone"

He shrugged, "I know I said I'll leave as soon as possible... but I feel like I would be making a grave mistake..."

"I don't want to sound like I want you gone, you know I wouldn't, but you should really leave. It's dangerous"

He scoffed, "I know. But... is it though? I mean, Alfred was kind... and selfless... He wouldn't hurt anybody he cared about"

"Are you serious?..." I stepped back, "Are you really serious, Kiku?"

He frowned, "I know. I know, I know. It's wrong and it's dangerous but no matter how much I try to leave, I end up staying in this room because I don't want to. He..."

"He tried to kill me" I interrupted, "And if he had the chance, he would have killed you too"

"But he didn't. He's not like them," Kiku responded, "Besides... I... I begged him to kill me-"

"What? Why?..." I interrupted him. My eyes widened, "Why would you say such thing?... Are you insane? Are you stupid?"

"I thought it would have been for the best"

"What about me?!" I yelled as I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, "Do you think I would have fine knowing you're dead?! Do you think I would have been fine to be abandoned just like that and not being able to protect you?! How dare you be so selfish?!"

He started to sob, "I-i know! I know... To be honest, I was terrified that he would have done it... I didn't want to die. I don't want to die. But the fact that he didn't do it is worse because no matter how much I isolate myself from him, I still love him!"

"Gupta is dead because of him!" I blurted out, getting frustrated with him repeatedly talking about the human with fondness and immediately bit my tongue. I didn't mean to let him know, not like this.

"What?..." There was a tense silence as he tried to process, "Y-you said he was fine-"

"I lied..." I looked away, trying to calm down and realized I was losing my temper. And now I was letting tears drop too, as I remembered that day, "H-he was dead when I picked him up and held him in my arms on my way to the apartment. But I didn't realize it until I arrived in the room and Sadik was yelling at me for an explanation but I was too busy trying my best to save him and I was so focused that I didn't even notice his skin go cold and his eyes were wide open and I-"

Kiku stopped me and held me close, gripping my back. I hugged him back just as hard and started to shake as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry..." Kiku whispered, "He... he was just a kid... He had nothing to do with this... it didn't matter if he was a ghoul, he didn't deserve to die like this..."

"It's my fault" I admitted, "Sadik warned me, to not kill a human. But the kid was practically starving and he wanted to try to hunt on his own. I was an idiot and let him. And he was so proud. I told him he did a good job. It should have been me-"

"No" Kiku pulled away and looked at me in the eye, "This is my fault..."

"What?..."

"You were right... I made the mistake to let another human in my life. We're monsters to them. Nothing good could have come in the end. I didn't know what I was expecting to happen. God, what was I thinking?!" He cried, "I can't believe I had to let a kid die to realize that was all I waiting for to happen! In the end, it's the same fate for all ghouls and that's to be hunted down like animals by the Doves. And I allowed it to happen because I was a fool who thought that this time, it could have been different..."

I put my hands on his face, gently wiping the tears off his face. He flinched and closed his eyes tight. He was angry at himself. I was angry at him too, but the pained look in his face made me realize this whole event was extremely difficult for him. It didn't occur to me to think about his past, how he opened up to a family and destroyed it all. And now it has happened again.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, "Hercules, forgive me. I was such an idiot..."

"Shh... it's okay. I forgive you... and please, forgive me too for lashing out on you"

We hugged each other again, finally calming down. I peeked and saw the door was slightly opened. I squinted and noticed something. There was someone watching us from the gap of the door. I couldn't tell who. Before I could say anything, they left.

I shuddered and decided not to say anything to Kiku. Right now wasn't the moment. Instead, I separated myself from him, "So, do you want me to help you pack?"

After some hesitation, he nodded and took my hand.

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A/N:

Finally updated! I'm sorry if it's not enough or as plot forwarding but I really wanted to update soon! I appreciate your patience!!!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I appreciate all comments and votes and I'll see ya next update : )

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