Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Two: Be Happy

"No, I didn't," I heard some shuffling in the background.

"Are you okay?" Alex's voice was soft and vulnerable.

"I-I walked into Kolb's classroom and her assistant teacher... 'Lex I swear to god. I'd know his eyes anywhere." I rambled as I heard Alex in the back yelling for my dad.

"Brendon! I need help here!" Alex yelled and I heard a muffled noise like he was pressing his phone to his shirt.

"Did you ever get ahold of Lo?" I heard Jack's voice in the background as the tears began to fall from my cheeks.

"Jack," I whimpered into the phone as Alex must have handed the phone to him.

"Logan!" Jack said excitedly.

Today of all days the day before thanksgiving while Kolbi was on fall break. This had to happen. What other lies have been told to me? I took a deep breath in and the tears kept falling as I pressed my eyes closed not wanting to open them,

"Logan..." I heard dad breathe out on the end now.

"Logan listen I-" Dad began before I fully just broke down.

"Can you or Alex come to get me?" I said and I heard Dad throw keys at Alex.

"Yeah baby girl we will be there in a minute, Can you keep talking to me?"

I nodded my head then thought for a moment, he can't see you. I bite my lip and let out this noise I hadn't heard in a while. I had been put on medication for my asthma that had seemed to be working pretty well. The air started to seem to leave my lungs at an alarming rate.

"Hey, Logan?" Alex said and I knew I was no on a car speaker.

"Ye-yeah," I spoke back softly holding the phone still in both hands.

"Where are you exactly can you share your location with me?"

I shared my location with dad and Alex making it a group chat. Dad began to give Alex directions. I sat with my purse in the passenger seat of Beckett's old ran down car. Dad had told Beckett that they could work out a deal and Beckett could borrow one of dad's cars. Beckett always declined though just having the windows tinted.

I heard a car door open and I saw Jack run to the door opening the passenger door as Alex yelled at Jack about not being in park yet. Jack pulled me out of the car and into his chest right as the panic attack got worse. Only it wasn't a panic attack anymore it was an asthma attack on top of. I felt like my throat was closing as I shoved myself off Jack and dumped my purse contents on Beckett's passenger seat. I found what I was looking for as Dad sat me on the floor. I took a few hits off the inhaler and stared at the men around me giving them a thumbs up and hit my head against the back of Beckett's car.

"Fuck!" I said quite loudly as Alex laughed at me.

"Not appropriate for here Ms. Urie." Alex sassed as I glared at him.

"Shut up Mr. Gaskarth." I flipped him off as Dad was now sitting in front of me.

"Do you want to talk about what happened or do you just want to-" Dad said looking at me and was cut off again by a small voice.

"Uncle Jack! Uncle 'Lex! Mommy's dad!" Kolbi came full dart across the parking lot to us as I began to try and compose myself.

Jack blocked Kolbi's view of me picking up Kolbi and putting her on his shoulders. Kolbi had seemed to have a major growth on Jack. It might have been the fact they are both rather loud individuals but Kolbi I know it's a phase, Jack it is probably some hearing loss. Dad and Alex helped me up as Beckett came over scolding Kolbi.

"Kolbi you can't just run across the parking lot like that! You could have been hit and killed!" Beckett said putting his hands out for his daughter who had her arms wrapped around Jack's head.

"Come on munchkin go to your dad," Jack tried to coax Kolbi off his body but was failing miserably.

"No! Mr! Mr. Carter!" Kolbi yelled across the parking lot as Mr. Carter turned around.

I stared right into his eye and inhale deeply. He gave me a light wave and I grabbed onto dad's arm. Beckett came over and looked at me. Alex wrapped an arm around me protectively as dad said something about getting me to the car. Alex guided me to his car and started the car.

"Where are we going?" I asked Alex as he shifted gears.

"Your house?" He said and lifted his foot on the break than on the accelerator.

We sat in silence for a while before Alex looked over at me. He looked over periodically and patted my back. Alex got that I didn't want to talk but he also didn't allow footprints in his car. I wanted so desperately to put my feet up on his seat and hold my knees to my chest.

"Logan?" Alex asked softly looking at me as he pulled off the road.

"I want to know why and what happened,"

"Logan, we may not ever know what exactly hap-"

"I want to go home!" I said through spiteful tears.

I thought the first person I met and became friends with her. The person who fucked with my head so much and lead me to a person who I love. I thought he was dead. Watching him stand there and high five Kolbi and shake my hand. It felt strange and not real.

Alex turned on his turn signal and pulled back into traffic on the way back to dad's house. Beckett was pacing back and forth in the driveway until Alex pulled in. Dad, Jack, and Kolbi were nowhere to be seen. I looked at him with knowing eyes.

"I didn't, it never occurred to me. Do you think he is in some relation to tob-" Beckett said quickly as I didn't say a word to him.

I heard Alex mumble something to him grabbing him by the back of the neck. It was a motherly way like he did with the guys. I walked inside to see mom gushing over Kolbi's new shoes. She was so good with Kolbi and I felt guilty. I felt this need to try and be something I wasn't. I felt bad because maybe mom and dad would have preferred a younger child. I walked into the kitchen were Jack was opening a beer. I looked at his beer and grabbed it off the counter downing it in a full 32 seconds.

"Well okay then, Logan would you like to go and talk somewhere?" Jack said batting his eyelashes at me.

I shook my head as Alex came in to try and intervene.

"Logan," Alex said sternly as Jack pointed to the beer bottle in my hand.

"Alexander," I smiled and felt my cheeks heading up from the quick consumption of alcohol.

"You're not of age," Alex said and took the empty bottle from me.

"Stop treating me like I am 2, or broken, or like I don't know what I'm doing with my life!" I said and stomped my foot.

"I'm not a child!" I practically yelled at Dad who came in and was standing with the other guys.

"Then stop fucking acting like one!" Dad yelled at me as I looked taken back.

I heard Beckett say something to my mom. I listened to the tv turn on as mom walked into the room. The Tv was practically on full blast. I looked at the people who I considered my family and wanted to scream.

"I know you never wanted me you wanted someone like Kolbi and that is okay. I am 20, I will go to college, get a job, and move out." I said and walked out of the kitchen to the mumbles of my 'family' from the other room.

"Was that really necessary Bren? She didn't know that-" I heard mom's voice up until I slammed what would soon be the guest bedroom again