Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Eleven: Luckily or Not

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I asked Rian as he continued the drive back to dad's house.

"Because he doesn't want you moving out until he knows you are stable. Jesus Christ Logan, it's not like your going to be there anyway. You're going on tour with us. You honestly thought Jack can get you kicked off the tour because he is pissed off at you. Stop being dense please." Rian said as I sat back in the seat wanting to cry.

"I didn't get to explain anything to Ryleigh and I pinned her on the floor and she was so mad at me because I made her leave her date and I made you leave yours. God, I'm such a fuck up." I rambled and pulled my knees to my chest.

I took a few deep breaths in and out trying to calm myself down but it wasn't working. I was panicking and all Rian thought to do was call Alex. Alex sounded like he was in a car too.

"Hey did you find her man? Lisa and I are both out and fuck she might not even have left her phone there." When Alex was nervous he rambled a little bit.

"Yeah, can you do that breathing exercise thing that helps you? I think she is having a panic attack in my passenger seat. I can't pull over or stop." Rian said to no one in general as I knew for a fact we were both on speakers.

"Logan, can you hear me okay?" Alex asked as I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry," I choked out and began to cough.

"Rian you have to pull over. You're going to have to take her hand and put it on your chest and have her breathe with you for a while." Alex said frantically and I heard a car engine rev.

"Logan can you still hear me? I want you to think about that time we were all in the studio and you were trying to teach Rian that drum trick. You remember it how Rian hit himself in the head with his own drum stick." Alex said to me as I chuckled remember it.

"You place the drum stick like this and then just tap it and it comes up and you catch it," I told Rian.

Rian had just found out I could play the drums and was quite annoyed I never told him. He made me sit and play songs I knew on the drums which were quite a few. I felt though like my arms were going to fall off if I kept drumming so I went to do weird drumstick tricks.

"Okay get up let me try," Rian said and I got up off his seat and he climbed on the seat and I set the drumstick for him.

Rian counted down and then tried the trick. He tapped the other stick and managed to get in the air but never caught it. It came crashing down hitting him on the head. I tried to suppress my laughing but failed.

"Fucking shit," Rian shouted rubbing his head while I laughed.

I let out a soft laugh.

"It hurts to breathe 'Lex," I said softly but loud enough for the mic to have caught it.

"I know kiddo. Hey, remember all those letters you gave us and Jack crying like a baby?" Alex continued to ask me if I remembered things.

Of course, I remember it.

Jack held me close to his chest. I felt his tears roll onto my shirt. I looked at the brown-eyed boy wiping his tears with my 'small thumbs'.

"You are like my little sister. Yeah, we might not always get along but you're a pretty cool person." Jack said and then pulled me close again.

"I promise I'll protect you from all the bad when the others won't," He finally whispered in my ear and I gripped the back of his shirt tightly.