Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Twenty- Four: Bloody Hands

I woke up in a strange place. I looked around the bare walls and the room around me. The walls were a dark gray color. I placed my hand on them and felt the rough bumpy texture. The ground was the same kind of concrete feeling.

"Hello?" I spoke shakily out.

I began to rub my arms with my hands. I was only wearing some really shitty looking tank top. I was in a pair of shorts. Not like a set of jean shorts a pair of pajama shorts so they were thin. I let out a breath and saw the fog that was my breath. I was freezing.

"Hello!" I said a little louder seeing no door or way out.

"Log, it's fine just breathe,"

"Who are you?" I kept speaking as I asked and the next thing I saw was a window.

It was a two-way window. I saw someone in all black lift a bag off of the person's head who was seated in a chair. It was Ryleigh, she was shaking and crying. I looked around the room trying to figure out a way toward her but could not find one. I hit my hands on the glass as the person chuckled.

"Now Logan hit that glass again and she dies," the voice said as I kept both hands on the glass.

"RY!" I screamed in endless attempts to get through to her.

The next thing I knew the person drew a knife and stabbed it into her leg. I screamed before someone came into the room I was in. They dragged me to a bathtub. The tub was full of water and ice cubes. I was on my knees as the person with no face I could see pulled my hair and shoved me into the water. It was a violent back and forth of me being in the water for long periods of time but not being out long enough to keep enough oxygen in my lungs to survive.

"Now tell me what you know," The voice said in my ear as I just shook my head.

"I don't know anything why am I-" I heard a gunshot go off.

I found my strength to run to the window were now where I stood. I had the gun in my hand and Ryleigh was on the floor with a bullet wound straight through her shoulder. She sat their silent and dead as I stood on the window side screaming.

"Logan wake up please!" I heard Alex say as he shook my body.

I woke up to myself screaming and thrashing around. Alex tried to wrap me in his arms as I quickly grabbed my phone and pressed Ry on my phone. It rang for what felt like eras before I heard a really sleep voice in my ear.

"Hello," It was a male, I began to panic and I couldn't find my words.

Alex took my phone and knew the voice to be Zack's.

"Hey Zack, its Alex, Logan is having a bit of a panic attack. She woke up from a nightmare and she called Ry, is she?" Alex didn't have to finish his words before I was handed back my phone.

"Lo what's wrong baby," Ryleigh said into the phone as I couldn't move anymore.

I sat holding the phone pretty paralyzed. I sobbed into the receiver before Ryleigh had clearly put me on speaker. I knew Zack was recording this or had called someone else. I then heard Alex talking to me. I somehow struggled with the words but I got them out.

"I thought you were gone, I-I... Blood...  Hand... Sorry," I hung up as I frantically go up and two steps forward.

Alex wrapped his arm around me and pulled me back toward him. I curled into his lap just sobbing as he leaned back holding my body. I knew we would be leaving again for a plane in a few hours and I just felt so guilty stealing Alex's sleep from him. I felt bad stealing sleep from everyone. I couldn't handle it. I just felt so guilty all the time.

"'Lex go sleep in the guest room or something. I don't want to- I don't want to keep taking it away from you," I got out and Alex held me closer.

"Nope, I am not leaving you kiddo," Alex kissed the top of my head.

Once I had calmed down He got up and stretched. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Alex groaned grabbing my hands and pulling them apart. Alex being weird got me up with me and played some music on low. We danced around like crazy people trying not to make much noise to wake my parents.

I couldn't help but look at the calendar on the wall. I had circled the date of the tour on my calendar and it had crept up on me. Tomorrow night we would be leaving. I felt bad knowing Alex had been staying here or any of the guys really. They had lives of their owns and they could be doing other things than worrying about me. I felt sort of upset because in some ways I wished dad would stay with me but right now dancing like a crazy person made me smile softly. It was a genuine light-hearted feeling of I knew he was trying and in some ways, it worked but it wasn't really what I wanted.

Alex picked me up and put me on his back as I hugged onto his body. He chuckled and I felt the vibrations from his body as he chuckled. He took me downstairs and set me on the island and began rummaging through cabinets. I looked at him confused as he kept rummaging through cabinets.

"What are you-"

"Found it!" He exclaimed softly pulling out a red bull and two blue solo cups.

Alex cracked open the red bull can and poured half off it into my cup. He poured the other half into the cup I assumed for himself. I sat on the island as he handed me a cup. I took a sip of the red bull feeling the fizz burn my mouth. I quickly chugged the rest of my red bull as Alex stared at me. We then sat there in silence.

"My dream was about Ryleigh..." I stopped and look outside the window at the street lamp.

"Yeah, I had figured that much out,"

"I was being held captive and one second I am being tortured and the next Ryleigh is dead and I am holding the gun," I said and stared at the post.

I felt my mouth moving but I didn't feel my body being turned around. I held the cup in my hand still unsure of where to place it at this point. I was still sitting on the counter unsure of how I even felt at this moment. All I knew was my dream fucking terrified me. Alex snapped his fingers in front of my face and he stared at me. I stared back at him before he pulled me in a hug. This one was different it was protective and one that you just feel him telling me I should know better. It was a hug I had experienced with Jack that day up in the music room. One of pure love that I mattered. Too bad Alex eventually let go and that feeling went away too.

"Logan, can I ask you something personal?" Alex said and began to run a finger along the ring of the blue solo cup.

"Yeah," I said

"Do you like Jack? I mean I know you and Beckett are a thing or maybe a thing. We'll label it complicated. I just- I can't tell if Jack is growing feelings or if he is... I don't know anymore," Alex sighed looking at me.

"Is this about that one day?" I asked as Alex looked at me knowing I was avoiding his question.

"Yeah, I guess it's about him kissing your cheek," Alex said and I looked at him holding my breath.

"Do you like Jack?" Alex asked me again as I avoided eye contact.

This is weird and I don't like it. I didn't like the feeling I had in my chest or the feeling in my stomach. I felt like no matter what I was going to say Alex would be upset. I felt like a child there was going to be punished if I was honest or if I lied.

"Logan?" Alex said as I looked down at our feet.

"Yeah,"

"Do you?" Alex asked softly again and made me look at him.

"I just answered you," I said as I hopped off the island counter.

"How did you-" Alex thought for a moment before I saw that look in his eyes.

The one I knew was going to come.

Sometimes answer aren't always what we want. Just like sometimes we have friends so we don't need enemies.