Letters and Murmurs

Chapter Forty-Five: Sing Me To Sleep

Jack had been extra protective almost to the point I wanted to even have the joy of stubbing my toe on a rolling crate. Jack had walked around with an arm around me most days. We were always seen together except when on stage. I had seen an OBGYN a few times. I tried to make all my appointments when Jack could make them at first then I tried to make them when he couldn't come. I know that sounds terrible, as though I don't want him there. Here is the thing though I wanted Ryleigh there. I wanted Alex and Lisa there. I wanted my own parents there. I was only ever allowed like two people max most people. Alex came to the first few appointments then got grossed out or was 'disappointed' because the baby still didn't look like a baby.

I inched closer and closer to the twelve-week mark. Jack and I had discussed announcing that we were expecting. I didn't want to because it just put a target on the child's head whenever they were born. There have been a few days where I didn't feel good and cramping was an issue. I was told it would be normal to have some cramping but I literally felt like I was dying today.

"I'm fine J," I said for what felt like the millionth time today.

"I just want to stay and-"

"Jack I swear to god I'm fine. I will get up out of this bunk and stab you if you don't leave and go do soundcheck," I finally growled as Jack raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm going. Be good, be safe. I love you guys." Jack kissed my cheek and placed a hand on my small stomach rubbing it with his calloused fingertips.

"Jack!" Rian shouted on the bus as Jack rushed toward the door.

"Please-"

"Jack I will stab you and I'm not joking. Ryleigh is going to come and cuddle until you get back."

"Okay love you."

Then Jack was gone. There had been the rumors and speculations that something was going on for a while now. I mean not that we knew of until a few days ago but I mean we couldn't act differently now or people would still accuse us of lying regardless. Ryleigh climbed on the bus and smiled throwing a bag of shit at me.

"Hey!" I exclaimed and looked in the bag.

"They are from Nicole for the show tonight," Ryleigh explained as I nodded and got up and went in the bathroom to change.

I changed into a black pair of skinny jeans which were uncharacteristic of Nicole. I also grabbed a random bra from my suitcase and threw it on before grabbing one of Jack's shirts. I gripped on to either side of the row of bunks as I got dizzy walking back towards Ryleigh.

"You good mate?" Ryleigh said as I rolled my eyes at her.

"I swear to god if one more person asks me if I am okay. I will murder you all in your sleep," I said and pointed my finger at her.

"We just all want you to be careful you are pregnant and carrying our niece or nephew," Ryleigh said eating some chips that smelt terrible.

"Yeah remind me to never have sex again."

Ryleigh laughed almost choking on the chips as I rolled my eyes at her. We got off the bus. Ryleigh made sure to grab at least six water bottles as it was super important I stay hydrated now that I was pregnant. The crew also didn't want me helping load or unload boxes anymore which was really annoying. Everyone was treating me differently which the doctors said I didn't really need until later on in the pregnancy.

"Hey little one," Dan shouted at me running from the Panic bus to where Ryleigh and I were walking.

"Hello Dan," I said and felt that same familiar twinge of pain I had been having on and off.