Smile for Me

Chapter 58: Breathe

Emi POV

The tired and broken woman awoke to see Aizawa right there with her. He was holding her in his sleep as if letting go would mean she would disappear. She still felt raw and exhausted from the night before, her face dry and sticky from tears. Emi didn't want to get up, so instead she settled for burying her face deeper into Shouta's chest and basking in his warmth and comfort.

I didn't take Aizawa for the "sleep cuddling" type.

She thought with a light smile. She had to admit, this was nice. But she knew once he woke up, it would be over, so she relished in it while she could. She took a deep breath and smelled his wonderful scent of cologne and coffee.

Aizawa began to stir, and her heart fell, knowing that he would pull away. His eyes fluttered open and saw her cuddled against him and smiled sleepily, cuddling her a bit tighter. This shocked Emi and caused her to tense up a bit, alerting him (if he didn't already know) that she was awake.

"Hey. You awake?" he asked groggily with a deep morning voice.

Emi looked up at him with her sleepy blue eyes in response and blinked. "Do you want me to let go?" he asked. She shook her head no and he sighed. "Alright then. We'll stay a bit longer." Aizawa said, settling back down.

After a few more minutes of basking in each others warmth, Emi's stomach rumbled, causing Aizawa to unexpectedly chuckle.

"You hungry?" he asked with a smirk.

I guess I didn't really eat dinner last night before....

She looked to the side sheepishly and nodded. Aizawa then sat up and got out of bed, saying that he'll go get her something to eat.

"I'm going to go shower." Emi mumbled, walking over to her room to get her things. Once she was done with her hot shower, she came out into the kitchen to find Aizawa finishing up some steamed rice, miso soup and grilled fish. (This is Japanese breakfast, don't judge) She sat down at the small table and Aizawa set up a plate for her. The two ate in silence for a while until Emi decided to break the tension.

"Thank you for breakfast." She said between bites.

"No problem...How are you feeling today?" he asked with concern lacing his words.

"....Raw. And very tired." she said honestly.

"I called in to work this morning while you were in the shower, so I can stay with you." Aizawa said, sipping his tea. "I told them you had an incident and that I was going to stay here. Don't worry, I didn't tell them. If you want them to know, it's your story to tell." He said respectfully.

Emi was grateful for that. She smiled down at her soup and thanked him. They ate in silence until they were finished and Aizawa began to clean up. Emi went to go sit on the couch and wait for him, bringing her tea with her. Once he was finished, Aizawa came to sit down next t her.

"So. What do you want to do about this?" Aizawa asked.

"About what?"

"About...this" he gestured to the husk of a woman next to him. "How can I convince you that you're worth time and effort? That we all care about you and want to see you get better?"

"...I don't know." Emi said, staring down at her tea blankly.

Aizawa thought for a moment, seeming to debate with himself. "I understand if you don't want to see any people right now, but maybe going to see Nemuri...?" he suggested, trailing off at the end.

Emi shook her head. "I can't face her right now."

"Okay...Wanna just watch some mindless television for a little while?"

"...Sure." she finally answered.

Guess this is better than hanging around feeling sorry for myself...

After more time-killing, Emi felt the need to speak again.

"I'm sorry."

Aizawa looked at her out of the corner of his eye, then muted the TV. "You're sorry? For what?"

"...For worrying you. For invading your personal space and taking your time. For having to take care of me. I'm sorry that I'm so fragile and that you got there before-...." she trailed off, choking on her words.

"If you were about to say you were sorry I got there before you jumped, I'm glad you didn't finish. I thank my lucky stars that I was able to find you before you did something so...irrational." he said with a dry chuckle at his lack of better words. "Look, you don't have to apologize for anything. Those things are all byproducts of the horrible things you've been through, and it's completely normal. If anything, I should be apologizing."

Emi met his deep eyes once more. "You? What do you have to say sorry for?"

"I...For not realizing sooner that I needed to be there for you more emotionally. Emotions aren't really my thing, so I sort of pushed it away as if the problem didn't exist. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before, I'm sorry I caused this to happen to you..." he scooted closer and gently held her hands in his, "I'm sorry I didn't realize how you felt before all this, and that I was stupid enough to think I could ignore it."

Emi looked up at Aizawa; the man she had felt like she had known forever, with wonder in her eyes.

"I promise I'll be here from now on. And I'll never let you fall again; I promise you." The earnest man said, using one had to brush a strand of hair behind her ear then cup her face gently.

"Shouta, I-..." She whispered, not knowing how to feel. For one thing, there was a flurry of butterflies in her stomach. On the other hand, she still felt too raw and not put enough together. She wanted to be put together; for him as well as herself.

"It's okay, Shouta." She whispered. "We both have things we're sorry for, and we both need to get better. I'll be here for you too-"

"I appreciate the offer, and I'll take you up on that at some point, but I need you to remember that you're more important right now. I know it doesn't feel like it for you, but my job is to focus on your recovery and fix mine as I go." Aizawa said, taking his hand down.

"Let's just...say we'll be there for each other?" Emi suggested with a weak smile.

Aizawa returned the weak smile and agreed. Emi met his eyes and he looked nervous for a moment. The she and Aizawa drifted off to sleep again on the couch, leaning on each other.

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Remember to take some time to breathe, everyone! It's okay and healthy to take breaks for your mental health!!

Also, vote for me in the bnha story awards under "Best character x character story"!!

-Sarah