Hard to love (J.JK)

Chapter 29

- Y/N's POV-

His hands applied more pressure on my wrists making sure I wasn't able to get myself free.

''Since I don't remember our event last night how about you make me remember it'' His voice whispered against my skin leaning towards my neck. I felt my heart shot up to my throat and my body freeze feeling his body pressing up against mine. His warm breath tickled my senses and before I could say anything the sound of a phone ringing interrupted the scene. Jungkook slightly pulled back turning his head towards the nightstand. I felt his hands loosening around my wrist and my heart slowly started to regain its steady pace. He glanced at his screen for a moment to check the caller's ID shortly after getting off me to pick up the phone. The moment I was no longer trapped my hands flew towards my blouse covering myself again as I turned my back towards him. 

Jungkook answered the phone to only exchange some quick greetings and a faint 'I'll be there' before ending the call fast. 

''Seems they need me early today'' He spoke out loud as he got off the bed heading towards the closet. Did he just act as nothing happened between us? 

''Okay.....well I'll be going'' I spoke awkwardly getting off the bed once I got myself buttoned up again. 

''I'll bring you. I'm going to take a quick shower it will only take some minutes'' he proposed as he turned to me with a fresh pair of clothes in his hands.

''Oh no need'' I replied not really being up for it. 

''I wasn't asking. My mom invited us over for dinner tonight so I'll come to pick you up as well'' he spoke and without even letting me reply he disappeared into the bathroom. I sighed before walking up to the mirror.....

My eyes started to scan my own body in the reflection. I slightly pushed my blouse down to expose my collarbones and for a long minute, my eyes were fixed on the hickeys covering them. My mind was totally set on last night...What was wrong with me? As if I was in some sort of trance not being able to resist Jungkook...or perhaps because of what he said.  Still looking at myself every memory came back to me...not just the memory but the feeling as well. He was so dominant and rough yet gentle at the same time. But it seems he doesn't remember a thing that's a relief.

----------------------------------------------

''Are you sure that you're okay? You seemed to have a bit trouble with walking'' Jungkook spoke getting rid of the peaceful silence in the car. Him bringing that up made me flush bright red. I was able to walk but indeed I had some trouble with it, but I was more puzzled about the fact that he sounded very sincere. Why is he being so nice and caring towards me? 

''It's not that bad....'' I muttered softly while looking at the view outside. I wasn't really up for having an awkward conversation. 

''Okay.....'' He replied back and our conversation died down. After a few minutes, I started to feel guilty....he was just being nice right? 

''How is your dad?'' I asked this time while even facing him to have a proper conversation. 

''Nothing has really changed but I'm still trying my best to go see him everyday..I just hope he wakes up..'' He spoke softly and hearing him say that made me think about last night. Seeing his eyes sadden at the thought made my heartache for a bit. It's still a horrible situation to be in and I really do feel sorry for Jungkook. My hand reached for his right one that was resting between us placing it on top of his.

''I know.....'' I spoke softly shooting him a small smile. He smiled back before focussing back on the road while I pulled my hand back. It seems as if the event between us two has never happened.

''Uhmmm this might be a weird question...but did I say anything weird last night?'' he asked causing me to tilt my head.

''You know.....when I'm drunk I usually tent to say a lot of things. Did I say something weird....?'' He asked making me chuckle.

''You said a lot of things yeah it's unfortunate that you don't remember'' I joked making his eyes widen. 

''What did I say?" He asked full of curiosity but a hint of worry in his voice. 

''Not gonna tell you. Try remembering it'' I teased causing him to nag me about it the whole ride long. 

----------------------------------------

''What did he say then?????'' Chanhee spoke full of curiosity I could almost feel her jumping out of the phone to see me in person and hear the story. I slightly looked over my computer checking to see if my other co-workers were still quietly working. 

''You told me he only talked about Minseok and forced a kiss on you and it went on from there'' she added feeling betrayed. 

''I know...I was just too stressed and my mind went blank'' I explained as she waited for the full story. 

''After the kiss, he started like muttering things under his breath. First, he thought I was his dad.....and he kept talking about how hard it is for him to run the company on his own. Then he acted as I was his friend talking about how lucky he is with his wife and child....'' I heard Chanhee drop an 'awww'' from the other side of the phone feeling sorry for him just as I did at that moment. 

''But after that, he thought I was his mother.....'' I fell silent now recalling the memory clearly.

''What did he say?'' Chanhee spoke making me slightly sigh. 

''Mom...I lied... Y/N doesn't love me and I don't love her either. I only married her for the sake of our family. I don't love her....I don't but why does it make me angry when she is with that guy? Why does it make me sad?'' I slowly started to speak the words he spoke to me that day.

''She is the first woman I met that makes me want to be noticed by her. I want her eyes only on me but she hates me. Maybe I really do love her.....I love her so much that I'm imagining that she is standing right in front of me..'' Once again I fell silent hearing Chanhee gasp. 

''Omgg so he does like you! And....when he started to imagine you there which actually wasn't his imagination but real. I'm sure that's when he made his move'' she spoke getting it right of the bat. 

''Yeah.....'' I muttered softly feeling a bit lost.

''You don't like him right?'' She asked making me sigh looking at my desktop. 

''I...I don't know. I mean I do feel nervous around him sometimes and feel my heart race but it's mostly in an uncomfortable way. That isn't necessarily love, right? When I'm with Minseok I just feel really comfortable and pleasant and.....warm and unlike Jungkook he has always been by my side..'' I spoke hearing Chanhee hum. 

''You know just give it time....You'll figure it out I'm sure of it'' she spoke causing a smile to appear on my face. She is right. Noticing my boss entering the office I quickly ended the call getting back to work. 

-TBC-