Today was exactly what I needed. We got a facial, massage, and our nails done. Emma is really the best for helping me take time for myself. I don't know what I would do without her. It was the perfect relaxing girls day at the spa. We ended the day drinking some wine by the lake.
Harry and I texted back and forth throughout the day. The whole thing is hard for me to comprehend. He is so amazing but on top of that so famous, so I'm just lost as to why all this is happening to me. I am so happy it is though, but still confused.
"Good morning Rowan." Harry answered my facetime.
"Good morning Harry." I couldn't hide my smile. Talking to him makes me happy and my facial expression shows it. We talked about our day yesterday and what we had planned for the day.
"I have an interview today and a few other businessy things so I gotta go." Harry pouted not wanting to end our short call.
"Aw." I said with the pouty face as him.
"Yeah I know I'm sorry. And I won't have be on my phone that much the rest of the day. But I'll call you tonight after the show."
"Okay I'll talk to you tonight. Good luck!"
"Thanks Rowan." He said.
"Bye Harry." I smiled.
Emma and I sat on our phones for a few hours doing nothing. All I could think about was Harry and how in the past weeks we've become really good friends just over facetime. He makes me happy. Going on tour with him I'd feel that all the time. We'd get to do more than just talk over facetime. We would get to do things together and I would get to watch him perform for a few shows or as long as he wants me to stay.
Should I go? It's like a once in a lifetime thing, touring with a star. I don't know if I'm ready for that. But something is telling me I should, I can feel it in my gut like I should go.
If nothing happens between us it wasn't meant to be, but I'll never know if I don't go.
"Em." I said. "I kinda want to go."
"Go? To see Harry?" She sat up quickly looking at me to see if I was serious. She looked at me with hopeful eyes.
"I don't know. No I- no, well maybe- no never mind." I was sorting my thoughts out loud. "I think I like him."
"You think? You're just realizing this? Don't even lie to yourself you've liked him since you first started talking. It's no secret." She teased me staying the obvious.
"Okay whatever." I jokingly rolled my eyes. "I'm really starting to have feelings for him."
"Then follow your feeling." She encouraged me.
"I just, I don't know if I'm ready for that but I want to, but I don't know. I could be so fun and I'd get to see him everyday but also I don't know." I sat going back and forth between the decisions.
Before I knew it Emma already made the decision for me.
"Rowan, I've never met anyone more indecisive than you, you're going." She demanded grabbing a bag from my closet. "Seriously you owe it to yourself being with a dick for two years."
"We broke up literally two days ago."
"You basically broke up like 6 months ago and then just fucked all the time." Emma bluntly said throwing out clothes for me to pack. I gave her a 'I know you're right but I don't want to admit it look'.
"He's not just another guy though, he's Harry Styles."
"And?" She questions. "He is interested in you, he likes you. This is happening to you for a reason." She continues to challenge my thinking.
"I mean I guess but-" She cut me off, "Go talk to your parents." She demanded still throwing clothes out to pack. Without hesitation I just did what she said. She made up my mind for me.
Was I really doing this? Going to see Harry?
I've been visiting home from college for the last few weeks since it is summer to get to spend some time with my family. I went down and explained everything to my parents and told them that I am going but also added all my fears, maybe hoping a bit my mom would tell me it's stupid.
"I think you should." My mom sounded almost as excited as Emma.
"Really?" I questioned her.
"Yes you obviously have feelings for each other. I've heard a few of your conversations." My mom raised her eyebrows in a flirtatious way.
"You have?" I scolded her.
"Um yeah I walk past your room enough to hear a thing or two." She acted as if it were nothing.
"You were spying on me? I thought you only did that to Charli." I complained like a child.
"I was not spying." She lied.
"You do it to Charli all the time I'm not dumb." We laughed as I caught her in the act.
"Okay maybe I stood outside your door for a minute or two." She admitted. "Now go pack."
My dad had no say my mom and Emma already made the decision for the both of us. They didn't ask about Grayson. They weren't even sure we were still together and now it was obvious.
There was no time to waste to get to the airport in time. I booked a flight in the car on the way to the airport. We rushed our way there I said goodbye to my parents Emma and Charli. We gave one last group hug.
"Please don't tell anyone where I am or who I'm with yet." They all agreed that was a good idea. "Just tell them I went on vacation with friends from college or something."
"I am going to miss you all." I frowned. I had no idea when I'd be coming back. In a few days? A few weeks?
"You better facetime me every night and tell me everything." Emma demanded.
"And me. I can't even begin to explain how jealous I am." Charli agreed only wanting behind the scene details on Harry and the concerts.
"Well me and your father too then." My mom added.
We said our final goodbye and I was one of the last ones on the plane. I then realized I didn't even tell Harry that I was coming. I was in such a rush to pack and make the flight I didn't even think about it. I tried to send a text quickly but the plane took off and my messages wouldn't send.
